Family heirloom is causing angst

Q Before my mother died, she had the diamonds on her engagement ring made into two necklaces, for my daughter and my niece. When my niece left home she asked my sister to look after hers. Now my niece wants to wear it at her wedding. My sister has come to me in a panic, saying she can’t find it – and that she wants my daughter to turn over hers. My daughter is gay. My sister says she’ll never need it anyway and it’s wasted on her. She says our mother wouldn’t want me to ruin the only wedding her grandchildren will have. I’m speechless but don’t want to fall out with my family.

SUZIE SAYS

A What culture or century does your sister belong to that she thinks your gay daughter will never marry, and in a big glitzy white wedding, too? If she’s lost the necklace, she needs to come clean to her daughter. If your niece asks for the loan

of her necklace from your daughter just for the event, then that’s between them. But if there is fallout here, it’s entirely the responsibility of your sister. Her hurtful slur may be just about panic, but regardless, she needs to apologise to you.