My friend is a hoarder

QA good friend of mine recently moved in with a man she’d been seeing for some time before the pandemic, and we kept in touch via internet calls during lockdown. When I visited her I was horrified at the state of the house, with boxes and newspapers piled up to the ceiling and mess everywhere. Her partner didn’t seem to notice, while she apologised. She’s been a good friend to me so I want to help. But what can I do?

SUZIE SAYS

AHoarding is often a control mechanism for people when they feel out of control or have complex issues, such as anxiety over loss, trauma and grief. The isolation and fear during the pandemic could have either kicked this sort of behaviour into action, or made it far worse. But it’s their issue, not yours, so it would be wrong to think you should do

something. What you can do is express sympathy and non-judgemental concern to her and offer support for them to seek help. Her GP could refer both or either of them for counselling.