HOW TO GET IN CONTACT
AYes, here are three possibilities! Try reversing so you’re on top of your man but with your back towards him – he fondles your bottom, you fondle his balls. Or, he sits on the bed with you in his lap – you get clitoral contact, he gets deeper penetration. Finally, he lies with his head over the edge of the bed while you straddle – you take total charge while his ‘head-down’ position gives him stronger orgasms.
QWhen my man and I first got together, it was online and the sex was great. And when we finally met, real-life passion was as spectacular as I’d expected. What I hadn’t expected was that he’d be so insecure about ‘doing it’ in person. And over time he’s got worse. Now, whenever we make love, he needs me to tell him in detail how perfect it was. I’m getting so frustrated by his neediness!
AWrite to Ask the Experts at 121-141 Westbourne Terrace, London W2 6JR, or send an email detailing your problem to woman@ futurenet.com. If you prefer, you can send Suzie a direct email with your personal problem to asksuzie@futurenet.com
SUSAN SAYS
You and your man are in an emotional loop. The more he needs reassurance, the more frustrated
you get. But the more frustrated you get, the more he needs reassurance. You need to calm down – and calm him down. Have a direct conversation about how wonderful you find the sex, then offer lots of compliments during lovemaking itself. If he’s still insecure, a few sessions of counselling will help break this vicious circle – contact relate.org.uk.
QSince my husband died I made several new female friends, also on their own, and am enjoying their company and the things we do. But one is spoiling it. I’ve not exactly had an easy life – illness, depression, the loss of my husband and of my job because I took his death so hard. I don’t moan by any means but if I do say anything, this friend leaps on it and says I don’t know what hard is because we didn’t have children. Am I unreasonable to resent this attitude?
ASUZIE SAYS Not in the least. You could equally put her down saying she has her health, and even difficult kids are at least there for you. But you wouldn’t do that – you know we all have ups and downs in our life and comparisons are ridiculous. If you value her friendship simply, quietly,