‘HE’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW’

Jen Brimacombe, 48, and her husband, Davide, 49, live in Plymouth. They have four children and four grandchildren. When Davide and I divorced in 1997, I was set on it being ‘the end’ of us. I was fed up with the constant arguments and upset, and so determined to move on, I married someone else three years after our split. Back then, I thought that was the end of Davide and me…

We’d first met as teenagers after I’d likened him to the Jason Donovan poster on my wall. But only four months into our relationship, I fell pregnant. I was just 16.

I was shocked – I was well aware of how young I was – but the pair of us were totally in love, so the shock was a happy one and I was sure we’d be together forever.

Matthew was born in February 1991, but the three of us living at Davide’s mum’s house wasn’t a great situation. Already, there were arguments between Davide and me about money.

But despite that, we wanted to get married. We moved into our own place, and on 24 June 1992, we had a small ceremony at Plymouth register office.

I gave birth to another boy, Luke, in April 1993. But our busy household meant that the arguments flared up even more. We clashed over childcare and housework and I resented Davide going out with his friends while I stayed at home with the children.

I fell pregnant with our daughter, Coral, but three weeks before I was due to give birth, we separated. I was only 20 when Coral was born in January 1995 and now a single mum of three children.

Our lives still entwined, we continued to fall out until we decided to cut each other out completely. In 1997, we divorced and I met someone else, with whom I had another daughter, Ellie.

When Davide remarried too, our lives felt completely separate and we barely spoke unless it was something to do with the kids. Sadly, my marriage with Ellie’s dad didn’t work out so I spent a few years single.

Then, in 2009, Coral, then 14, had a parents’ evening we both had to attend. Davide offered to drive us and while I was slightly hesitant, I agreed. As Coral sat in the back, Davide and I talked non-stop. It felt like something had changed between us. When he dropped us off, I invited him in and we talked for three hours.

It was as if nothing had ever gone wrong between us. I’d vowed not to go back there but I had to admit, I was smitten again.

And then my mum, Lea, told me she’d bumped into Davide in town – they hadn’t

‘It was as if nothing had gone wrong’

seen each other for years. Davide knew she was suffering from cancer and he’d gone straight over to her and had given her a big hug. She remarked later to me that he was different now.

And I decided that my mum was right. He was different. We both were. We’d grown up.

Davide’s marriage broke up and, in December 2009, we got back together. He made the first move – he texted me. I was a bit wary, and when we told the kids, who were now teenagers, they were happy, but they made it clear they didn’t want it to be like it was before. This time, though, the things

we’d argued about in the past weren’t a problem. No money difficulties or childcare issues. On Christmas Day 2014, Davide proposed under the Christmas tree, presenting me with a diamond ring. In 2016, with my second husband out of the picture, Davide adopted Ellie, and I loved him even more for taking on another man’s child. We planned our wedding at Plymouth register office for the 25th anniversary of our first wedding. Same time as before, too – 11am. A quarter of a century earlier we’d stood in the same spot. Only one photo of our first wedding remains because I’d ripped up the others. Six weeks later, we had a blessing ceremony. Why has it worked this time? We’ve both mellowed, we’re best friends and we know each other so well. We are different people from when we married the first time around, but our overwhelming love for each other stays the same.