How do I reconnect with my estranged family?

Q When I was a child my father, who had always been a churchgoer, became a member of a fundamentalist group. He was more than strict to me and my brother – in fact, quite violent and cruel. He also cut all ties with his own family so we were no longer allowed to see a well-loved uncle and aunt, and our cousins. When I left home I only kept in touch with my mother. But the lingering disapproval meant I didn’t contact my other relatives apart from Christmas and birthday cards. Now I’d really like to be in touch. But how can I tell them I’ve missed them and want to see them?

SUZIE SAYS

A Do exactly that! A loving letter explaining what happened from your perspective, how many happy memories you have of them and that you’d love to make your own links with them is more than likely to have the response of ‘Us too! Come on over.’ And do it quickly – I’ve had so many sad letters from estranged family members who left it too late to reconnect.