I want monogamy

Q After my divorce, I joined a website specialising in open relationships. I’ve had such fun! And I haven’t felt at all jealous that the men I’ve met have other lovers. But now, after playing for a while, I’m starting to need a committed relationship. Problem is that none of the guys I’m currently seeing are up for monogamy – even though one of them swears I’m the love of his life. What do I do now?

SUSAN SAYS

A What you do now is to forget these men and find a partner who shares your values. Because, while there’s nothing wrong with signing up to an open-relationship website, you now want something different. And it’s unfair to expect your lovers to want something different now just because you do. So let these men down gently, especially the one who’s in love with you. Then join a website for committed relationships, and move on.