Can we tell her to leave us alone?

Q An old colleague has started emailing my husband, at all sorts of odd times, day and night. Apparently her adult son has cancer and she says she has no one to turn to. She keeps asking to meet and he really doesn’t want to. He feels he’s running out of excuses! Both of us feel sorry for her and guilty at not wanting to help, but also resentful – apart from the obvious point that she fancied him and he did not reciprocate, we don’t see why she should come to him.

SUZIE SAYS

A She’s probably come to him for that obvious reason. And she’s using a sad situation as a form of emotional blackmail. So while you can feel sorry for her, you have absolutely no reason to feel either guilt or responsibility. He should set a boundary. Reply to the next mail saying firmly that he is not the person to come to for help and that Macmillan Cancer Support can and will help both her and her son. Also say that he will not respond in future. If she continues to message, consider blocking her.