He’s playing about – so I’ve banned sex!

QMy partner and I have been together for six months and were planning to buy a flat together. Both of us are divorced, my partner very recently. But when he got a new job, he also got new friends and has completely changed – started drinking three nights a week and spending weekends with the lads. So I gave him an ultimatum – stop playing about or I’m stopping sex. But now I hardly see him. Have I made a mistake?

SUSAN SAYS

A Yes, you have made a mistake. Your partner isn’t ready to commit to a new permanent relationship because he’s only just out of his old permanent relationship. Plus, his new friends have reminded him of the joys of being single and free, but your ‘no sex’ ultimatum has convinced him that with you he’s not free. You need to pull back on your ultimatum – or face the fact that this relationship has likely run its course.