CODE CRACKER

Mel was dreading Caroline’s visit – how on earth was she going to make an impression?

Which European city is a particular favourite of Holly Willoughby? To find out, solve the puzzle… Fill in the grid. Each letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number from 1 to 26. When you’ve completed the grid, the shaded squares will spell out the one-word answer.

We’ve given you five letters to start you off.

As Gerry walked past the window, Mel switched off the vacuum cleaner and shot out to the hallway. ‘Did you get everything? The lemons, the Parmesan, the coconut milk?’ He ushered her towards the kitchen, shooing her along with the bulging carrier bags. ‘Yes, yes, and yes. Calm down, Mel, this isn’t royalty you’re entertaining, just a few of your book-club bods.’

‘Bods!’ she protested. ‘It’s Angie, Lorraine, and Caroline. They have standards. I’m the newcomer here. They’ll expect a certain level of sophistication. Believe me, as far as Caroline goes, royalty would be the easier call.’

He huffed out a laugh.

‘She’s married to a local councillor, not an aristocrat.’

‘Try telling her that!’ Mel shot back. ‘As she never seems to tire of telling me, her husband’s chair of the Rotary Club and spends every Sunday playing golf with Barry Neeson.’

‘Who?’ Gerry asked vaguely.

‘The jockey,’ Mel said. ‘He’s the village’s most famous resident. He and Rex are like this apparently.’ She entwined her fingers.

‘Great. I still don’t see why you have to be all of a dither at the thought of his missus coming here. I’m sure even they enjoy a sneaky beans-on-toast off a lap tray once in a while.’

Mel raked a hand through her tufty blonde hair. ‘They have a Chippendale dining table, silver place mats and a cut-glass cruet. No way does Caroline ever eat off her lap.’

‘Then she doesn’t know what she’s missing.’ Gerry slipped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. ‘We may have only been able to afford this place thanks to that Premium Bond win, but we’re grafters, too, Mel – we’ve earned the right to be here. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not just to impress some Lady Muck. A few nibbles and a decent pot of coffee and you’ll be fine.’

Mel wasn’t so sure. She snatched up a sieve and began furiously sifting flour into a bowl. Gerry reached out and stilled her hand gently.

‘They’re just people, love, as good and bad as the rest of us. Stop stressing.’

Mel swallowed and resumed sifting, but this time a little more calmly.

*****

By 1.50pm, she was showered, changed and standing by the door ready to greet her guests. At Mel’s request, Gerry had retreated with their terrier Harvey into the snug.

‘I’m fast developing a real aversion to this Caroline woman, you know,’ he’d grumbled, when told of her dislike of dogs.

‘She just doesn’t do pets,’ Mel had explained. ‘Can’t see the point of them.’

‘Then I’d be happy to enlighten her,’ he’d said, before the door shut firmly in his face.

Actually, Mel was feeling all kinds of guilt about shutting Harvey in, but she was trying to make an impression, and having an enthusiastic bundle of fur prancing around Caroline’s legs was hardly the way to do it.

As for her plumber husband Gerry, with his Celtic shoulder tattoo, she shuddered to think what Caroline would make of that!

A shadow loomed over the door’s frosted glass and Mel reached for the catch. Her fingers slid from the shiny, black metal, and she wiped her hands down her skirt and tried again.

‘Lorraine, come in,’ she smiled, relieved to see the mouse-like figure of Lorraine Gentry standing on the doorstep.

A shy woman of indeterminate age, with greying hair tied into a ponytail, Lorraine seemed to be forever on the verge of saying something, then thinking better of it.

‘Thank you,’ she said timidly, stepping over the threshold. ‘Are the others here yet?’

‘No, but that gives us the chance of

‘This isn’t royalty you’re entertaining’

a natter, doesn’t it? Go through.’ Mel indicated the parlour, where a small stack of books sat on the hearth, awaiting their appraisal. ‘Coffee?’

‘If it’s not too much trouble,’ Lorraine said. ‘White, no sugar, please.’

Mel poured a cup from the cafetiere and handed it to her, inviting her to sit.

Lorraine lowered herself into the squashy fireside chair and looked around.

‘This is lovely, so cosy. When we meet at Caroline’s, I always feel a bit...’

‘Like you have to mind your Ps and Qs?’ Mel finished for her. ‘Me, too. It’s like a mansion, isn’t it? She must be forever cleaning.’

Lorraine looked horrified. ‘Caroline doesn’t do housework. She and Rex are far too busy. She has a cleaning lady, and a man comes in weekly to do the garden.’

‘Oh, I see. From what I hear, Rex seems to be quite the local bigwig.’

Lorraine’s brow furrowed. ‘He’s like a fox,’ she said finally.

Mel waited for her to explain further, but when she didn’t, asked, ‘In what way?’

‘He has thick, red hair and gleaming eyes, and he sniffs around like a fox looking for something to scavenge. The last time he did it, Caroline filled a plate with petits fours and shooed him out of the room. Now when we meet there, she sends him off to the golf club.’

Mel couldn’t help wondering if, rather than it being the food he was interested in, it might have been the delightful Angie Egebe. The GP’S daughter and former model had retired from the catwalk the previous year and had returned to the village to start her own micro-perfumery.

She’d been the first person to welcome Mel and Gerry the day they’d moved in, turning up with a bottle of good white wine and an invitation to come to Sunday lunch that weekend. Despite her glamorous lifestyle, they’d found her down-to-earth and friendly, and Mel liked her enormously.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,’ Lorraine blurted, sounding contrite. ‘Caroline’s been so kind to me since…’ Her voice faltered.

‘A road accident, wasn’t it?’ Mel asked gently. She’d heard a few details from Angie but didn’t know how much to admit to.

Lorraine nodded. ‘I didn’t expect to be orphaned quite so young.’

Mel was saved from having to respond by a tap on the window.

‘That’ll be Angie,’ she said, ‘Would you excuse me a mo…’

*****

She left Lorraine browsing through the book pile and went to the door. On the step was a stunning-looking woman in a white vest, skinny jeans and a denim shirt that

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that’

Mel saw Caroline’s lips start to tremble

enhanced the burnished ochre of her skin. ‘Angie!’ Mel cried, enfolding her in a hug. It was returned with equal warmth. ‘Come in. Lorraine’s here, but no Caroline yet.’ ‘Don’t suppose there’s any chance she’s forgotten, do you?’ Angie stage whispered. Mel grinned. ‘Not a hope.’ A muffled ‘woof’ from inside the snug made Angie’s face light up. ‘Is that the lovely Harvey? You haven’t locked him away, surely?’ ‘Him and Gerry,’ Mel confessed. ‘I don’t think Caroline’s quite ready for the shock of those two yet.’ Angie clasped her hands together. ‘Can I just have a quick cuddle?’ ‘I’m sure Gerry would love one,’ Mel said, her expression deadpan. Angie grinned. ‘I meant Harvey, but Gerry’s welcome to one, too.’ Mel cracked the door open, stooping to push Harvey back inside. ‘Hi, Gerry,’ Angie said, squeezing through the gap. He glanced up from his laptop. ‘I know my place – in the dog house.’ He stood and threw his arms wide, enfolding her in a bear hug. ‘So how did you get involved in this book club thing?’ ‘Through Lorraine,’ she said. ‘We’ve known each other since childhood – Caroline too. When I came back to the village, she told me the group needed new members, so I was happy to join. It’s been fun.’ She knelt to cuddle Harvey and he scrambled onto her lap. ‘Apparently it was sevenstrong when they first began,’ Mel said. ‘I wonder why so many dropped out.’ ‘Well, there’s Caroline herself, of course,’ Angie said as Harvey tried to lick her face. ‘She can be a bit full on. But I think for most of them, the deciding factor was Rex. It’s a wonder he hasn’t been put in his place already for the way he looks at every woman he passes.’ Mel grimaced. ‘I did wonder when Lorraine mentioned him sniffing around.’ ‘Well, Caro copes with his behaviour by pretending it’s not happening.’ Mel looked puzzled. ‘You said just now that you and Lorraine were friends from childhood.’ ‘That’s right,’ Angie confirmed. ‘You look surprised. How old do you think she is?’ Mel jerked her mouth uncertainly. ‘Forty-ish?’ Angie smiled. ‘She’s six months younger than me – 32. Sad, isn’t it? What with losing her parents and then the no-nonsense Caro stepping in, the poor girl was denied what you and I might call a normal upbringing.’ ‘I bet she had a tough time at school,’ Gerry put in.

‘We both did really,’ Angie said. ‘It’s probably what drew us together. But there’s a really fun person behind her quietness. It’s just that she’s been steeped in oldfashioned ideas for so long. She’s an innocent in many ways.’

‘Then she’s in for a rude awakening,’ Gerry chuckled. ‘I’ve seen Mel’s book selection for this month, and if the cover’s anything to go by, it’s enough to make your hair curl.’

‘It’s called Love Amongst the Ruins, a racy romance set in Rome,’ Mel enthused and Gerry winked.

‘Oh, my lord!’ Angie laughed, waving a hand in front of her face. ‘Caro will blow a fuse. As for Lorraine…’

‘From what you say, they both need taking out of their comfort zone,’ Gerry said, pushing his shirtsleeves up muscular forearms. ‘Caroline needs to loosen the apron strings, let Lorraine live a little.’

‘Now, Gerry, none of your antics, please,’ Mel cautioned.

He stuck his nose in the air. ‘Can’t imagine what you mean. I will, as always, be the perfect gent.’

Before she could argue the point, there was a rat-a-tat-tat on the front door.

‘Her ladyship arrives,’ Gerry murmured. ‘You two go and get started, I’ll get those nibbles sorted. Come on, Harvey, you can help.’

*****

As Harvey trotted after Gerry out to the kitchen, Angie went to join Lorraine, leaving Mel to open t he door to Caroline. As soon as she saw her, tight-lipped and resolute, Mel’s heart sank. Not even over the threshold yet and already the picture of disapproval.

‘Hello, Caroline, do come in,’ she said, sweeping her hand in a theatrically welcoming gesture.

Telling herself to get a grip, she closed the door and led the way into the parlour. As they entered, Lorraine closed the book she’d been showing Angie with a guilty snap.

‘Having a sneak peek?’ Mel teased. ‘I loved it. Honestly, you’re in for a treat.’

Something in Angie’s expression made her pause. The former model was staring at Caroline.

‘Caro?’ Angie said, her brows knitted in concern. ‘Is something wrong?’

Mel saw Caroline’s lips start to tremble and realised that in her blind desire to impress, she’d mistaken the reason for the other woman’s stiffness.

‘It’s Rex,’ Caroline said tightly. Angie came forward. ‘What about Rex? Is he ill? Has he had an accident?’

‘He’s having an affair,’ Caroline said bleakly, before sinking onto an upright chair. When no one said anything, she heaved a sigh. ‘You’re not surprised, are you? Seems I’m the only one who thought he’d never take it to the next level.’

Angie crouched beside her. ‘Do you know who it is?’

‘Some woman at the golf club,’ Caroline said with bitter disdain. ‘I’ve met her.’

Angie met Mel’s gaze over the top of Caroline’s head.

‘All these years I’ve let things lie, convinced myself he’d never actually stray,’ Caroline said. She turned to Angie. ‘I gave up my career for him, did you know that? I was all set to be a journalist but he said it wasn’t a suitable job for a politician’s wife. Him, a politician! He didn’t even get selected to stand!’ Her eyes flashed as another thought occurred to her.

‘I never got to travel like I wanted to. The farthest we ever got was Cannes. Well, now

I’m going to do it on my own. I’ll travel the world and write about it. And he, well, he can just go…’

‘Good for you,’ Mel cut in quickly. Caroline’s determination to protect Lorraine from the pitfalls of life might have been misguided, but the reasons were now perfectly clear. And with Caroline heading off into the wide blue yonder, perhaps Lorraine might at last have a chance to find her own way too.

*****

Hearing the tap of nails in the hallway, Mel turned. Through the door came Harvey, his tail wagging wildly in anticipation of a fuss. Mel gritted her teeth as he made a beeline for Caroline.

‘Hello, little one, you’re rather sweet,’ Caroline said, putting out a hand to stroke the smooth head.

Mel was still staring in surprise when Gerry appeared, bearing a plate of nibbles to hand around.

‘Hi, everyone.’

‘Gerry, really!’ Mel protested, seeing he was wearing the jokey apron she’d bought him for his birthday, printed with a set of plumber’s tools arranged in an unmistakably suggestive pattern. ‘We have company. Take that off.’

He waggled a mischievous eyebrow. ‘Are you absolutely sure about that?’

Only then did she spot that not only was her husband shirtless, but the legs below the pinny were completely bare too. She sent up a silent prayer that he hadn’t decided to go for the ‘full monty’.

‘Is this your husband?’ Caroline asked, apparently transfixed.

He held out the tray. ‘Gerry Harris, at your service.’

Her lips twitched and she selected a Parmesan palmier. ‘Lovely – light as air!’

‘Thank you,’ Mel said in a wavery voice. She was finding the situation increasingly surreal. As he passed her on his way to Lorraine, she was relieved to see that he was wearing shorts underneath the ensemble. ‘How about you, miss?’

Lorraine gazed up at him as if he were Adonis himself. ‘Yes, please.’

He lowered the tray and she took a coconut macaroon. He half-turned to put the rest on the table and Mel waited for the blushes and embarrassed gasps from the others, but to her astonishment, Lorraine started to giggle. It was a gurgling laugh, delightful to hear and utterly infectious.

In moments, the mood in the room was transformed as first Angie and then Caroline joined in. Seeing them all with tears of laughter streaming down their faces, Mel gave Gerry a surreptitious prod. He turned and winked and she shook her head in fond exasperation.

‘Well, ladies,’ he said, once calm was restored, ‘It’s been lovely meeting you but I have things to do. Enjoy your reading.’ He left the room, Harvey trotting at his heels. ‘I’m so sorry,’ Mel began. Caroline put up a hand. ‘Don’t apologise, please. Yours is the sort of relationship I could only dream of. Your husband is…’ She paused as she sought the right word, then almost whispered, ‘divine.’

Angie flopped down in the nearest chair. ‘Agreed. And on that note, shall we check out Mel’s book?’

*****

Two hours later, Mel said farewell to her guests and went into the kitchen. Gerry was standing at the sink, washing the dishes.

‘They’ve gone, then?’ he asked over his shoulder.

Mel went and slipped her arms around his waist, covered now by shorts and a soft, blue T-shirt beneath the pinny.

‘You are one very naughty man,’ she murmured against his tattooed skin.

‘I do my best,’ he said modestly. ‘They weren’t too traumatised, were they?’

She inclined her head. ‘Let’s see now. Caroline described you as divine, Angie said you’re incorrigible, and Lorraine seems totally lovestruck. But at least I don’t think she’s going to find that book quite such a shock now.

‘Which reminds me, I have one last chapter to go… Care to join me while

I read it?’

He turned in the circle of her arms. ‘Well, you do know I love a happy ending,’ he said, dropping a kiss on her lips.

‘Oh, me too, Gerry. Me too.’

THE END

Christine Sutton, 2022

She prayed he hadn’t gone for the ‘full monty’