The experts Help! I fantasise about my ex
OUR TALENTED TEAM ARE HERE TO HELP SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS
QWhen I ended my marriage, the only thing I missed was my husband’s lovemaking. Then, when I met my current partner two years ago, sex with him was so good that my marriage memories faded. But lately, I’ve been remembering my ex’s bedroom moves, even finding myself fantasising about them in order to reach climax. Now I’m worried. Will I ever be able to forget my husband or will his memory continue to haunt me?
SUSAN SAYS
AI don’t think remembering your ex-husband is the real problem here – because you were able to forget him for many years when your lust for him was overshadowed by your lust for your new partner. What’s more likely happened is that your current relationship has become disappointing. You need to get your love back on track – in and out of the bedroom. When you do, you’ll be able to forget your ex once again.
Embarrassed when I orgasm
QMy fiancé’s more sexually experienced than I am, and is amazing at spinning out foreplay – particularly using his fingers or toys in my vagina. This gives me amazing orgasms that go on forever, so I’m over the moon. But at the same time, I always experience a rush of liquid from my urethra in a way I’ve never done before. He says it simply means I’m turned on. But I feel confused and embarrassed.
SUSAN SAYS
AYour man’s right. The liquid you’re describing is created by the Skene’s glands – glands near your vagina that produce fluid when a woman’s very aroused. Your man’s foreplay, particularly when he spins out arousal, stimulates this gland, raising your passion and enhancing your climax. The rush of liquid is the equivalent of you ejaculating, just as a man does when he comes. So rather than being embarrassed, be proud of this intense passion you’re experiencing!
I need the support more than she does
QMy husband died a year ago. We were happily married for 40 years. A good friend was supportive and caring all the way through and I’m not sure I could have coped without her. Now, she wants to lean on me. She’s lost her husband but not because he died. He’s left her, and it turns out he’s been having affairs for years. I want to help but I can’t help feeling it’s not the same. My husband died! Surely that’s so much worse.
SUZIE SAYS
AYou have 40 years of happy memories – you can look at pictures of your wedding, your holidays, your time together, with joy. When he died you lost a future together, but you do have that past, safe and secure. She will look at even early photos and wonder if he was sincere or whether he had already begun to betray her. He not only took their future but her past. You can’t make comparisons but you should care for and console her – she needs and deserves it.