He takes no blame for the affair

QThe man I’m seeing wants to go to an ex-girlfriend’s wedding next month. When I asked about her, it turned out he’d had an affair with her when she was married to husband number one. What upset me was his attitude to her infidelity – he said he was blameless, as it was her decision to be unfaithful and it would have been impertinent to question her behaviour. Frankly, his attitude really worried me!

ASUZIE SAYS I share your disquiet, and it’s not just a general worry over his moral compass – although that would raise plenty of red flags for me. I wonder about his relationship with his past lover and what it entails today. Would he be as happy to rekindle their affair now? If he’s willing to be so creative with an excuse for her cheating, what would he come up with for his own? I’d always listen to your instincts. You don’t trust this guy. Listen to yourself.