I don’t want sex any more

Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

Q I’m 55 years old and after 30 years of marriage I don’t want sex any more. I love my husband and I’ve always done my bit by having sex with him but I’ve never enjoyed it and always felt guilty about it. Now I’m in the menopause, part of me is relieved I don’t have to have sex any more. My husband says we can try to make things better but I feel it’s too late for that. Anon, 55, London

A While sexual energy and drive does diminish as you get older, many couples have enjoyable sex well into their sixties and seventies and beyond. However, there are two issues here. One is about a low libido due to the menopause and the other the feeling that sex was never something for you. Sorting out your libido is the easy part – see your GP for help – but don’t write sex out of your life. There’s still time to have the kind of sex life you want, especially if you have a husband who is keen to help you get there. A sex therapist via Relate (relate.org.uk) can help you both – do give it a try.

Facebook makes me feel envious

Q Four years ago, I got divorced. Now, I’ve found myself 44, and a single mum to two children aged eight and 11. I so much want (and need) a social life but I never get the chance. I look at Facebook most nights, and seeing everyone else having fun makes me feel envious. I have friends but feel embarrassed to say I want to see them more. Lou, 44, Kent

A You need to forget feeling embarrassed and let people know you’re up for going out without making a big deal out of it. Try a comment on Facebook that says, ‘This looks fun – invite me next time!’ Better still, organise a night out – it could be just you and two friends having a laugh over a drink. The key is to make it easy and enjoyable so it doesn’t become a huge emotional deal.