I want more from him
Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years
Q I’ve been casually seeing a guy for the past 18 months – we’re not officially a couple, but we act like one. I’m in love with him, but he seems happy with the way things are. He makes jokes about liking other women and me seeing other men (although I don’t, and neither does he). His comments make me feel miserable. Friends say I need to move the relationship forward, or end it for good. Gill, 37, Bristol
A What’s making you miserable here is the not knowing, and the pretending that you’re OK with the status quo. You have nothing to lose by telling this man your true feelings. Will I ever fall in love? Q I was married for 20 years – my ex-husband and I married young and didn’t really love each other. We divorced three years ago – now he’s remarried, but I’m alone. AK, 43, London A It’s never too late to find someone. At your age, you’re more sure of who you are, meaning you’re much more likely to find a partner who you really love. Start going on dates – perhaps try a dating website – and new hobbies where you could meet new people. Once you put yourself out there your confidence will grow, and it won’t be long before you find someone special. Tell him you want more – be specific about what you expect from him – and if he says he doesn’t want the same then you will know. However, if your man is keen for more (and perhaps he’s waiting for a signal from you) then you’ll have given him the push he needs to take things seriously. My mother-in-law is so difficult Q Every year my mother-in-law comes to stay with us for six weeks. I used to be able to cope but since I’ve started working full-time she seems to try to take over – she comments on how I do things around the house, and
makes jibes about the fact that I’m a working mum. Worse still, my husband won’t stand up to her. What can I do? Jan, 41, Hants
A As annoying as you might feel your mother-in-law is being, try to see her presence as an advantage. The fact is you’re busy and like all working mothers you could do with some help. Asking for her to be an ally in your house, instead of waiting until she interferes, will allow her to feel needed – and will stop the resentment between the two of you. I suspect the real reason is that she’s trying to make her presence felt.