A problem shared, with therapist Anita Naik
I’ve been married for 10 years and all we seem to do these days is fight. It’s like we can’t have a normal conversation without one or both of us getting annoyed or angry. I love my husband but I hate where we are heading. what can I do? I’ve tried to not be drawn into arguing constantly and try to hold back from saying things, but then I slip back into it. Leanne, 39, Kent
When you’re in a relationship, you’re going to fight with your partner at some point, that’s just life. What’s important to consider is how you and your partner fight. Do you resolve these arguments and make up or do the same issues come up all the time? Is it a case of every day bickering (a bad habit rather than a sign things are going wrong) or are there long-held resentments that you are both skirting around? What you need to do is have a solution-focused chat, when you’re not fighting about what’s happening, and why you need to make it stop.
Sit down and work out why you’re arguing