A prob­lem shared, with ther­a­pist Anita Naik

Woman's Own - - Contents -


I’ve been mar­ried for 10 years and all we seem to do th­ese days is fight. It’s like we can’t have a nor­mal con­ver­sa­tion with­out one or both of us get­ting an­noyed or an­gry. I love my hus­band but I hate where we are head­ing. what can I do? I’ve tried to not be drawn into ar­gu­ing con­stantly and try to hold back from say­ing things, but then I slip back into it. Leanne, 39, Kent


When you’re in a re­la­tion­ship, you’re go­ing to fight with your part­ner at some point, that’s just life. What’s im­por­tant to con­sider is how you and your part­ner fight. Do you re­solve th­ese ar­gu­ments and make up or do the same is­sues come up all the time? Is it a case of ev­ery day bick­er­ing (a bad habit rather than a sign things are go­ing wrong) or are there long-held re­sent­ments that you are both skirt­ing around? What you need to do is have a so­lu­tion-fo­cused chat, when you’re not fight­ing about what’s hap­pen­ing, and why you need to make it stop.

Sit down and work out why you’re ar­gu­ing

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