40st couple: Too fat for our first dance
Donna lowe, 35, was haunted by a very awkward memory…
Ripping open a share-size bag of Maltesers, I shovelled a handful into my mouth. It was 2011, and an evening on the sofa with my fiancé Billy, then 40, and a mountain of snacks was my favourite part of the day.
A size 22, I knew my eating habits were far from healthy. I ordered takeaways most nights and could easily plough through five bags of sweets in one sitting.
Billy and I were due to get married that June, but even the thought of squeezing q g into a wedding dress wasn’t enough to make me shift the pounds. Instead of cutting down, I justified my evening binges by not eating breakfast or lunch. I hadn’t always been overweight. When Billy and I first got together in 2000, I was a slender size 12. But then I was diagnosed with acute retinal necrosis in my right eye – a viral condition that can lead to blindness if not treated. Doctors said I needed a strong course of steroids. ‘Weight gain is one of the side effects,’ the consultant warned me a at an appointment in June 2003. The steroids made me constantly hungry, and by the following summer I’d gone up five dress sizes to a size 22. Two years later the eye condition cleared up and I came off the steroids. But by this point my eating was out of control. I worked shifts as a healthcare assistant and colleagues were always bringing in sweet treats, so I’d snack all day. Billy was getting big too. He’d gone from a 36in to a 44in waist and weighed over 23st. When Billy proposed in April 2008, I was determined to be a slim bride. id Only, at 17st, I didn’t know where to start. So I kept myself busy, booking the venue, the DJ and caterers, and dieting dropped to the bottom of my list.
‘You’ll look incredible no matter what size you are,’ Billy said as I stuffed egg fried rice and spring rolls into my mouth.
Moment of truth
In June 2011, I went shopping for my wedding dress. At 5ft 3in and 16st 13lb, I wasn’t sure I’d find anything I liked, but picking out a white fitted corset dress with a flared skirt, I knew it was the one. ‘You look stunning,’ my mum cried.
And at our wedding ceremony four months later I felt every inch the beautiful bride. But then came the reception...
We’d chosen Shania Twain’s From This Moment On as our first-dance song, but as it started playing and we walked out to the dance floor, I felt my face flush red.
Billy struggled to get his arms around my waist, and our bulging bellies pressed up against each other. There was so much fat – and fabric – between us I had to strain to rest my head on his shoulder.
I was mortified. Worse still, we were so big we couldn’t really dance – all we could do was sway on the spot. We must have looked ridiculous. That’s when it dawned on me – we were huge. Between us we weighed 40st.
Moments later our guests joined us on the dance floor. With everyone’s eyes finally off me, I felt able to relax and enjoy the rest of the day. It was my wedding, after all, and I was determined not to let my feelings about my weight ruin it.
The following week we jetted off on our honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort in Gran Canaria. With the wedding out of the way I helped myself to huge plates from the buffet and ice cream by the pool.
Big announcement
Back home, that awkward first dance haunted me. But I did what I’d always done – pushed it to the back of my mind.
Then, in December 2015, a leaflet came through the door for Slimming World.
Snatching it up from the hall floor, I walked into the living room and made an announcement. ‘That’s it,’ I told Billy. ‘I’m joining.’ I don’t know what triggered it, but I was determined to change.
In January 2016, I attended my first class and tried to hide my shame as I stepped on to the scales. After that I started eating breakfast for the first time in more than a decade, including porridge or low-fat yogurt. I also swapped takeaways for healthy home-cooked meals like lasagne and risotto using Slimming World recipes.
The weight fell off. Soon we were back to shopping in high-street stores and by November 2016 I’d lost 6st, and Billy had lost almost 9st.
In Lanzarote for our first holiday after our weight loss, we felt like a different couple. We no longer had to struggle to fit into the plane seats, and walking around in my new bikinis was like living in another woman’s body. Luckily our weight loss hadn’t left us with any excess skin.
‘I’m not used to being so slim,’ I laughed, looking in the mirror. I felt incredible.
Now I’m 10st 1lb and a size 10, and Billy is 15st and fits into a medium.
Seven years ago we were too big to dance at our wedding, but looking back on photos from that day makes me realise just how far we’ve both come. I’m so happy we did it together.
‘After our weight loss we felt like a different couple’