The way I see it: The five stages of guilt ev­ery mother suf­fers

Jour­nal­ist Bel Mooney be­lieves mums blame them­selves for ev­ery­thing. Here, she ex­plains...

Woman's Own - - HELLO & WELCOME -

Amother’s guilt is a ter­ri­ble and in­dis­crim­i­nate thing. It gets us all. Last month, the tal­ented, hard-work­ing TV pre­sen­ter Fiona Bruce con­fessed she of­ten feels she falls short on the moth­er­ing stakes when com­par­ing her­self to her own mother, who stopped work as soon as she had chil­dren. Now 54, and with her chil­dren aged 20 and 16, she re­vealed she still em­ploys the same nanny she had when the chil­dren were ba­bies.

While many women would envy the free­dom the lux­ury of paid help has given her, oth­ers might say she can’t have been as in­volved in her kids’ devel­op­ment as more ‘or­di­nary’, stressed-out, mums. No doubt there’s a big part of Fiona that thinks so, too.

All work­ing moth­ers, whether driven by ca­reer or ne­ces­sity (or both), know the stresses of jug­gling child­care and work and bal­anc­ing your child’s needs against your own. And, sooner or later, most of us wake in the small hours, con­sumed by anx­i­ety… that we’ve missed out. With two chil­dren and a long ca­reer, I’ve felt that angst. Stay-at-home moth­ers feel it, too, for dif­fer­ent rea­sons. Guilt fol­lows you like a shadow, from your baby’s first kick in the womb to way be­yond adult­hood.

So, here are the five stages of Mother’s Guilt ...

‘Guilt fol­lows you like a shadow’

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.