I’m not ready to move on
Q A year ago, I lost my 68-year old husband to cancer. We’d been together for nearly 50 years and it’s been a very tough time. Through it all, my two daughters have been wonderful but now as we start 2019 they are saying it’s time for me to move on and look ahead at my life. I feel I can’t yet. It’s not wallowing but just a feeling that I can’t yet put it all behind me. Linda, 67, Essex A The New Year doesn’t have to be a time for new starts, new beginnings and more. It’s just a date and while the whole world is going resolution crazy, you do not have to be a part of it. Right now, you’re grieving for your husband and while you’re engulfed in that you shouldn’t feel you have to shrug off your feelings and look forward to the future. Tell your well-meaning children that you understand why they want you to move on, but you are not ready yet. This doesn’t mean you are wallowing in self-pity, but simply allowing yourself to mourn for the person you loved.