A PROBLEM SHARED
Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 29 years
He wants to see other women
Q I’m 42 years old and I’ve been seeing an older man I met via a dating app. The sex is excellent, and we have a lot of fun, but he won’t come off the dating app, saying he wants to see other women too. He wanted to be open about it, but I feel hurt. What should I do?
A Dating apps like Tinder have transformed the way people choose to ‘date’. However, this doesn’t mean you have to go with it if it’s not for you. If this man wants to be free to have sex with other women, he may not be the man for you. Hard as this is, it’s better to look for someone who wants what you want, than to stay with a man who makes you feel miserable.
HE SAYS MY DAUGHTER IS THE PROBLEM
Q My partner and I have four children between us. We were supposed to move in together, but he now says he can’t live with me because of my teenage daughter’s behaviour. Her behaviour is bad, but I feel so upset. I think if he loves me, he should at least give it a try.
A It’s better that your partner is honest with you now, before you all move in together and things break down. He’s told you what’s holding him back and you, yourself, know there is a problem. Focus on your daughter to try to improve her behaviour. With that, the chances of you and your partner living together in the near future will significantly improve.
3 ways to... OVERCOME SOCIAL ANXIETY
1 TAKE THE FOCUS OFF YOURSELF. We often feel anxious in social situations, thinking everyone is judging us when they aren’t. Think about what others are doing, not yourself.
2 STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT. Perfectionism and social anxiety often go hand in hand. Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect in social situations.
3 READ 15 Social Practices of Saying the Right Thing in Any Situation by Thomas J Young (£8.79, independently published). Would you love to converse effortlessly? This book helps prepare you for conversations ahead of time and gives you the tools to speak to others with ease.
CONTACT ANITA
Send your questions to askanita@ futurenet.com, follow her on Twitter @Anitanaik, or go to anitanaik.com