It’s OK to put yourself first when...
...YOU HAVE NO TIME
Have walks, meditation and yoga sessions been put on the back burner? You need to make time to look after your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
‘Boundaries will help protect you,’ says Michelle. ‘They’re essential for self-esteem, and help teach others how to treat you.’ Which leads us to…
...YOU WANT TO SAY NO
If you’re thinking of saying yes when you don’t want to do something, ask yourself why? The response will always be about the other person: ‘Because he needs my help’, or ‘She gets angry with me when
I say no’. But what about what you want?
‘If a person respects you, they’ll respect your needs, even if it’s inconvenient for them,’ says Michelle. ‘But, in order for people to respect you, you need to respect yourself – and that includes knowing when to say no.’
Insist you are spoken to with respect, prioritise your own needs, and clearly communicate your feelings.
...YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE ONE-SIDED
If you don’t value yourself enough, you’re vulnerable to being taken advantage of.
‘Being selfish when you need to be will cut out those who haven’t got your best interests at heart,’ explains Michelle. ‘A good friend or partner won’t expect you to drop everything to fulfil their needs.’
If they do, it may be time to rethink the relationship. Letting someone take advantage of you doesn’t automatically make you a better person.
It makes you a pushover, and that’s not healthy.
...YOU HAVE YOUR OWN GOALS
‘When you prioritise your own needs more, you have more time to pursue personal activities and goals (such as taking a course, writing a book or having time to be creative) that can improve the quality of your life and boost your confidence,’ says Michelle. ‘Yes, you can still be caring and helpful when it’s needed, but not at the expense of your own dreams, goals and health.’ By empowering yourself, you can also become an inspiration to others. The key is to balance kindness, generosity of spirit and compassion with a healthy dose of selfishness.