A STRANGER GOT US BOTH PREGNANT
Karina, 32, and her wife Kelly wanted to give themselves the best chance to become mums
Enjoying dinner and cocktails with my best friend Kelly, we reminisced about our school days. We couldn’t help laughing about how we’d been inseparable aged 14 and, all these years later, we were still the same.
As teenagers, we’d shared everything, from secrets to clothes.
We tried out hairstyles and make-up together, and confided in each other about our boyfriend dilemmas.
With our petite figures, brunette locks and shared love of science, people used to say we were like twins. As years had passed, our lives had run parallel, too. We both studied scientific degrees at university before embarking on successful biomedical-engineering careers.
Now it was early 2013 and, living near each other, we chatted on the phone most days and met up every weekend.
I always loved hearing her news but, as she told me about her new boyfriend, I found myself forcing a smile.
With a jolt, I realised that I was jealous – not because I wanted to be in a relationship too, but because I didn’t want to share Kelly with anyone.
As the months passed, I found myself looking at Kelly differently. Having only previously dated men, I came to realise that I’d been denying my true feelings.
The truth was that Kelly was smart, beautiful and ambitious – everything I wanted in a partner. But of course it wasn’t that simple because not only was she now in a relationship, she was also my best friend of two decades.
When Kelly broke up with her boyfriend weeks later, it hurt to see her upset but secretly I was relieved.
MAKING IT OFFICIAL
By now, I was certain how I felt and longed to be with her. I didn’t dare hope she felt the same but couldn’t bear to live a lie, either. So, one night in spring 2013, I found my courage. ‘I have feelings for you,’ I told her.
I held my breath as she stared at me and then replied, ‘I feel the same.’
My jaw dropped – I’d never expected this. But, actually, it was surprising how easily we went from best friends to lovers.
For our first date, we went parasailing, and in May 2013 we went on holiday to Disney World, where we made our relationship official.
Our life together was blissful, and we rarely argued. At first, we kept our
‘SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND OF TWO DECADES’
relationship from our families and, disappointingly, when we came out in early 2017, some people dismissed our love as ‘just a phase’.
However, we proudly exchanged vows, wearing matching white dresses, in front of 20 of our closest friends and family at our wedding in September 2017.
We soon began planning our future - and we agreed that we both wanted children. Yet, we knew it wouldn’t be easy or cheap, and despite both having good jobs, we couldn’t afford a sperm bank or IVF.
Thankfully, we heard about a website called Co-parentmatch - an alternative sperm bank, which allowed you to choose a donor without paying extortionate prices by working more as a socialmedia network, connecting potential donors and parents. Kelly and I spent months interviewing candidates via video call, and met the final two in person, before choosing our favourite - a kind-hearted man motivated purely by altruism.
In October 2018, we invited him to stay at our home overnight to donate sperm.
Originally, we’d only planned for me to try to get pregnant, using a £72 insemination kit we’d bought online. However, Kelly changed her mind, saying ‘we should give ourselves the best shot’.
As we knew it was very unusual to become pregnant on the first attempt, it made sense to double our chances.
After the insemination, we didn’t get our hopes up but when we took pregnancy tests the following week, we saw two faint lines - on each of them.
‘We can’t be?’ Kelly gasped, but a trip to the doctor confirmed it.
We were both pregnant. It felt like a dream come true, although reality hit hard when we both suffered awful morning sickness in the first weeks and found ourselves both running to the bathroom.
Still, we were so excited and, as our bumps began to show, we shared our news with our ecstatic families and friends.
Some predicted that having two hormonal pregnant women living together was a potential nightmare, but actually it was wonderful to share the journey and support each other.
After all, we’d always done everything else together, so why not pregnancy?
Going to scans together and seeing our babies on the screen was magical. At 20 weeks, we found out Kelly was pregnant with a boy, and I was having a girl.
We felt blessed that our little ones would grow up together, started thinking about names and bought tiny matching outfits.
Kelly had to be induced early and gave birth to Leo on 7 July 2019. Watching her deliver our son was unbelievably emotional.
‘I’m so proud of you,’ I whispered to Kelly, kissing her on the forehead.
I wasn’t allowed to stay in hospital with them overnight, so I headed home for some much-needed rest before heading back for a day of skin-to-skin contact. However, back home that night, at 3am, I was woken by searing contractions and I knew that it was my turn.
As Kelly was discharged from hospital with Leo, I was being admitted to the maternity ward. My mum supported me through a long, arduous labour until, finally on 10 July, the doctors prepped me for an emergency caesarean.
Leaving Leo at home with her mum, Kelly raced to my side in time to see our daughter Sophie being born.
‘IT WAS A POTENTIAL NIGHTMARE, PEOPLE SAID’
DOUBLE THE FUN
The early days as a family of four were wonderful and tough in equal measure. We were both recovering from pregnancy and childbirth while dealing with sleepless nights and nappy changes, but we got through it together, as always.
The babies are now boisterous toddlers. Strangely Sophie, now two, is more like Kelly in personality - talkative and sassy, while Leo, also two, is more reserved and quiet like me.
They’re a double act, and when people ask if they’re twins, we tell them, ‘Not quite, but almost!’
Kelly is not only my wife but my best friend, too. Now we have our beautiful babies, our lives couldn’t be happier.
Always consult an expert and make sure you know the law around sperm donation before you go ahead with artificial insemination.