TWO BABIES BUT I ONLY GAVE BIRTH TO ONE
After Amanda Webb, 45, discovered that her surrogate was pregnant she had some shocking news of her own
Clutching my husband Ryan’s hand, I listened in disbelief as the doctor explained I had cervical cancer and would need chemotherapy. But it was the next words that really made my head spin – the treatment could possibly leave me infertile. In an instant, my dreams of being a mum were swept away. I was only 36.
It was January 2012 and Ryan, then 36, and I had been married for just over a year and were desperate to be parents.
Only now, we were forced to put those plans on hold as I was booked in for three rounds of chemotherapy and then a radical trachelectomy, where the cervix is removed but the womb left intact to give me the best chance possible of falling pregnant.
With my womb still in place, a small part of me still dreamt of holding a baby in my arms and watching them grow.
And in May that year, when I was given the all-clear, I felt determined. ‘I want us to at least try,’ I said to Ryan. ‘Whatever it takes,’ he agreed.
MORE HEARTACHE
But months passed with disappointment and when we still weren’t pregnant by August 2013, we decided to book an appointment at a local fertility clinic.
We began a course of IVF treatment in November but our excitement soon gave way to crushing disappointment. It hadn’t worked. ‘I’ll never be a mum,’ I sobbed to Ryan. Meanwhile, our friends were falling pregnant in a matter of months and while I was happy for them, every announcement made my heart ache. We tried four more rounds of IVF but each time we received the same result. We were beginning to realise the reality of our situation perhaps the chemotherapy had left me infertile after all.
‘Why don’t you see if someone else can carry the baby for you?’ the consultant said gently.
Living in Australia, it was illegal to pay someone to carry a baby for you and we never imagined that anybody would be willing to carry out such a momentous task for free.
And then, just as we thought things couldn’t get any worse, we had more news. I’d had some tests done on my eggs and it showed they were chromosomally abnormal. I had less than a 2% chance of carrying
a baby to full term. Now, not only did we need someone to carry our baby for us, but we needed donor eggs too.
We were distraught. ‘There must be a way,’ I cried in Ryan’s arms as he tried to comfort me. But it felt as though we had tried everything.
MESSAGE OF HOPE
Desperately searching online for answers, in 2015 I discovered a group on Facebook called the Australian Surrogacy Community, where would-be parents could connect with surrogates.
We decided to share our story in a post and in 2017 we were approached by a woman called Sally*. ‘I’m married with two kids and I’d love to help another couple start their family,’ she messaged us.
We were cautious, of course – this woman was a stranger. But our yearning to be parents was all-encompassing.
We exchanged dozens of messages before we agreed to meet her and her family in a pub close to her home.
As I walked into the room, Sally came towards me and wrapped me up in a huge hug.
We sat down and told them all about our attempts to start a family, and my battle with cancer. I almost couldn’t believe it myself when I explained it had now been five years since we had first started trying for a baby.
From the moment we met, I felt so relaxed around Sally. ‘I feel like I’ve known you all my life,’ I said as we left. When she offered to carry a baby for us just days later, I couldn’t believe it. Our only problem now was finding a suitable egg donor.
And after we tried three times with another donor’s eggs, Sally offered to help.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ I replied when she told me. This selfless stranger was giving us so much.
At the end of 2019, Sally underwent IVF treatment, and her eggs were collected and fertilised with Ryan’s sperm.
It took five attempts but in February 2020, Sally phoned me. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she told me, excitedly. After all this time, we were finally going to have a baby!
For the next few weeks, we didn’t tell a soul as we waited nervously for the first 12-week scan.
After all the disappointment, we barely let ourselves believe we could be parents soon. And while Ryan and I spoke about our concerns, there was a worry I was hiding from him. I’d recently been bleeding and I feared my cancer had come back.
With a baby on the way, I knew I couldn’t ignore it any longer and in March 2020, I booked myself an appointment.
Leaving Ryan working from home, I drove to the clinic and as I lay back on the bed, I held my breath as I awaited the doctor’s bad news.
But instead, the sonographer smiled. ‘You’re pregnant!’ she grinned. Shocked, I broke down in tears. ‘Are you sure?’ I stammered at the bemused nurse.
I couldn’t believe it. I was already 14 weeks along. The bleeding had been caused by a clot, common during pregnancy, and would resolve on its own.
Back home, I placed the scans in front of Ryan, watching as a look of pure confusion transformed into laughter. ‘Oh my God!’ he cried when he saw my name at the top of the scan. ‘Two babies on the way!’
TWICE THE EXCITEMENT
We called Sally straight away to tell her the news and she was elated for us.
And when we told our families, it took a while for them to understand! ‘Twins?’ my mum guessed happily when I told her we had a big surprise. As we explained the truth, everyone was laughing and crying, and agreed it felt like a miracle.
Comparing notes with Sally each day was amazing and I loved knowing how both my little babies were growing when I attended every scan and appointment with her. And it was amazing to be able to experience pregnancy first-hand as well.
In July 2020, I went into labour and our son Ashton was born at just 28 weeks and six days. He was so tiny and perfect. I did have a small worry that I wouldn’t love my other son as much as the one I carried myself, but when Brodie was born four months later, in November,
I felt the exact same overwhelming love as
I had for his big brother.
Bringing Brodie home and having both boys in the house at the same time felt surreal. ‘We have two babies,’ Ryan whispered as we watched them sleeping soundly.
Now, the boys – or the twiblings as I call them – are two and 21-months and a whirlwind of fun and activity. Ashton is so chatty and loud and loves dogs, while Brodie is boisterous and loves throwing balls. I can already tell they’re going to be best friends, even when they’re pushing each other!
I’m forever grateful to Sally for this magical gift.
Thanks to her, our family is complete.
‘EVERYONE AGREED IT FELT LIKE A MIRACLE’