I LEARNT TO READ AT 44
Fed up of feeling ashamed and embarrassed, Tash Smart faced her biggest fear
I’ve always struggled academically. After being held back a year, I started secondary school in September 1989, but I was in the bottom sets in all my classes and surrounded by pupils who wanted to mess about rather than learn.
Not wanting to stand out or be picked on, I stayed quiet, but deep down I was frustrated. I found reading and writing so difficult. I couldn’t seem to grasp the way the words were formed, or I’d get confused by those that looked or sounded similar like ‘what’ or ‘where’. I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it, so nobody knew how much I was struggling. Instead, teachers said I was lazy or that I couldn’t be bothered to learn. And after a while, I started to believe it. I just thought I was stupid.
POST-SCHOOL BATTLE
I left school at 17 with no GCSES and spent the next year in college trying to improve in English. But it was difficult. I thought I’d never be able to read or write. While my parents wanted what was best for me, I didn’t open up to them about it. They didn’t know the true extent of my problem.
From the age of 18, I bounced around jobs where I could hide my struggles – working in my local shop, then at a logo company where
I just needed to operate a machine, then in another fixing DVDS.
I met my partner Simon soon after. Although I felt ashamed that I couldn’t read, I didn’t hide it from him. Luckily, he helped wherever he could - like reading the menu at a restaurant or when I received post. But my friends and family still didn’t know, and I’d become really good at hiding it from my colleagues.
When I started working in a department store in 2001, I’d carry a little book full of words I needed, or prompts on how to log into the online systems so I’d know what to look for on screen. If someone asked me to spell something, I’d pretend I couldn’t hear them and I’d avoid answering the phone so I wouldn’t have to take down messages or orders.
As technology became more advanced, I’d speak into my phone to dictate texts and emails, or I found I could highlight words to be read out. It made things a lot easier, but I was still frustrated.
It wasn’t until my 30s that I decided to take an online assessment that revealed
I had dyslexia. It was a relief knowing there was a reason for my struggles and that I wasn’t stupid or lazy like I’d been told all those years before.
TURNING POINT
When the pandemic hit, I started looking for ways to help me read and, in 2021, I came across Read Easy. I needed to do a reading assessment and was so nervous. But after that, I was paired with an amazing woman called Karen, who has been helping me twice a week. At the age of 44, I was finally learning how to read.
It’s been just over a year and I’m now picking up books for the first time, reading stories like Matilda and Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory. I even went to a card shop recently and was able to read what was written on them. It felt so empowering.
I’ve still got a little way to go, but Read Easy has already given me so much more confidence. Learning to read has changed my life, and it’s certainly better late than never!
✣ It’s International Literacy Day on 8 September. There are 2.4 million adults in England alone who struggle in life because they cannot read. With your support, Read Easy’s 2.4 NO MORE! campaign will help more people like Tash to get the free, confidential, one-toone coaching they need to learn to read. If you’d like to make a donation, visit readeasy.org.uk/donate or if you’d like to volunteer with a local group, visit readeasy.org.uk/volunteer.
‘NOBODY KNEW HOW MUCH I STRUGGLED’