Can long-distance relationships work?

As footballer Wayne Rooney moves to America and wife Coleen stays in England, Woman’s Own asks…

YES ‘It’s special when we meet’

Ness Cooper, 33, lives in Norfolk. Partner Matt, also 33, lives in Somerset.

I met Matt through Twitter. Towards the end of 2019, he messaged me about a a copywriting job, as we had mutual friend in the industry, and it sparked a conversation. Twitter turned to Skype, followed by an online writing video retreat. Nothing about us was conventional! After a few phone calls,

I was already falling for Matt, but when I calculated the 266-mile distance between us and realised neither of us drove, I knew it would be met tricky. Even so, we finally up and the connection we’d had online was even stronger we in person. I was sad when left each other, but planning our next meeting made the time apart easier.

We relied on phone calls and messages during the pandemic, but it showed us that we didn’t need to live together. Matt was happy working as a copywriter in Somerset and was close to his family and friends, while I had just started my business as a sex and relationships coach in Norfolk.

Now, we see each other at most months for a few days a time and it’s always special. Communication is key to making things work – we watch movies, go on walks and even just get on with everyday things like housework while we chat on the phone or Skype.

We have discussed moving but in together in the future, for now, this works for us. For information on Ness’ ✣ work, visit nesscooper.co.uk

NO ‘It’s not worth the heartache’

Sarah Finley, 40, is a journalist living in London. As I boarded the plane at San Francisco airport, I knew deep down that it was over. We’d spent two weeks together after months apart and it had been incredible, but as I left, we were both a blubbering mess – living 5,000 miles apart just wasn’t going to work. We’d met six months earlier as I travelled around the US for work and a mutual friend hooked us up. We hit it off and spent the next few days together, after which long phone calls ensued. A spontaneous trip to San Diego cemented how we both felt and we agreed that a long-distance relationship was worth trying for a few months. But I felt the strain as soon as I touched down in London. With the eighthour time difference, I’d be going to bed just as he was getting up. Weekends were worse as lie-ins and nights out ruined what could have been long chats and chances to keep the relationship alive. We got excited as we planned my trip to see him, but the cracks in our relationship were becoming more visible. We both became annoyed with the breakdown of communication and missed having someone in the same city to share moments with. Our relationship is the reason I’ll never even contemplate getting into a long-distance relationship again – it’s just not worth the heartache.