‘We have separate bedrooms’

Michelle Lopez, 38, a TV extra, and her husband John, 35, a musician, live in Kingston with their six-year-old son.

Giving my husband John a kiss, I slip into my pyjamas and head to bed. Minutes later, John is off to bed too. Only, he isn’t beside me. Instead, he sleeps in the spare room next door and six years on since we started this arrangement, I’ve never been happier.

John and I were introduced by mutual friends, and as soon as we got together in September 2013, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.

John, then 26, was kind and considerate, and I was so physically attracted to him. We had sex three or four times a week, and we were both fully satisfied.

In September 2015, we got married

John says: ‘As a musician, I’m always travelling, but Michelle and I are always in contact. Just because we aren’t having regular sex, it doesn’t mean we aren’t close. In fact, when we do have sex, it’s passionate – spending time apart makes me want her more!’

‘HAVING SEX IS STILL IMPORTANT TO US’

and in April 2016, our son was born. Naturally, any chance of spontaneous sex vanished, and with John, a musician, often travelling for gigs, our schedules weren’t in sync.

So John made the decision to move into the spare room, so he didn’t disturb me and the baby when he came home from work late.

NIGHT-TIME VISITS

Every couple of weeks, we’d find the time and energy for sex, and I’d pay John a visit to his bedroom. I can’t deny it felt exciting, like it was our special place and secret.

And although it might sound odd, we both got used to having our own space. So, six years on, we still have separate bedrooms! Although we don’t sleep in the same room, having sex is still important to us, only I’d rather go back to my own bed afterwards.

We try to do it once a month. I know it would make John happier if we got cosy under the covers on a more regular basis, and we do talk about how it would be nice to have more frequent intercourse, but working different schedules means our lifestyle doesn’t make it easy.

But we’re still affectionate with each other and I think it’s healthy we have our own personal space.