It’s A Funny Old World: Diana Moran
‘It would appear her main function in life is to sit around to be admired’
I’ve been away for a couple of weeks filming for a new series – so you can imagine my delight at finally being able to wake up in my own bed and seeing ‘British sun’ shining through the window. Now, it’s time to wake up properly. So, bend and stretch, lithe body and long limbs extend, then curl and roll over, then up and away at great speed…
No, I’m not talking about me. It’s just the everyday antics of my best friend, Maisie. With glossy black hair and piercing green eyes she is my superior companion who, like many of her kind, has demanded my full attention over the years. She is, of course, a cat, not well bred you understand in fact, semi-feral, but nevertheless superior and unique.
She has been in residence for the past 14 years and, although it may be true that I have my house rules, these have been adopted and adapted to suit her feline needs. It must never be forgotten that, thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped by the ancient Egyptians as gods, and Maisie expects to carry on the tradition by insisting on similar devotion. It would appear her main function in life is to sit around to be admired, and her motto must surely be ‘all things come to those who purr.’
Feline cleanliness is her main virtue, although her investigation and cleaning of private parts in public can be embarrassing. And some of her bathroom habits leave a lot to be desired. It would appear the best drinking water is to be found in the toilet bowl or from the constant drip of the bath taps.
But let no one dismiss her generosity. Presents of the furry kind are a constant, brought in and displayed with great pride by the bedside on a warm summer’s evening. Bedtimes with Maisie are cosy, curled up together, but leaving precious little room for amorous adventures. Put to the test, this is when the claws really do come out!
Daytime is a constant wanting to come in when out, or wishing to go out when in, or both at the same time. More time is spent on being fed, talked to, being groomed and played with. But with a flick of a tail and a paddle of paws she’s off to spend the rest of the day in endless sleep. When awake her nine lives are diminishing fast as her curiosity outweighs her caution, leaving her stranded up trees or treading water in pools.
But full marks for sensitivity.
Maisie knows instinctively not to answer me back and when to keep out of my way, usually deciding it’s time for a wash. At 14 and 78 years old respectively, our relationship grows stronger by the day – you could say we are a purr-fect pair!