He’s confessed to an affair

Discovering that your partner’s been unfaithful is one of the most painful experiences you can go through. Infidelity creates intense emotional turmoil. You’ll experience a number of emotions: disbelief, anger, hurt and betrayal. When a partner has an affair, it shakes your marriage foundations to the core and leaves you wondering if you can weather the storm.

There isn’t one definitive route to staying married. But, although you’re understandably angry with your husband, if you want the relationship to work, I believe you have to take action. It takes two to make a good relationship when things go awry, and both of you will need to change your behaviour, even though it’s your partner who’s broken the trust.

Marriages can recover from affairs and go from strength to strength. Although there’s no blueprint, there are a number of steps you can take. Firstly, your husband must stop seeing the other person with immediate effect. It’s impossible to build mutual trust if his lover is on the scene. Secondly, you should both really want to repair your marriage. Give it time to be sure that you’re both really committed. Only then can you start picking up the pieces.

It’s often very hard to sort these things out on your own. Counselling can really help. A good place to start is Relate. Contact them via relate.org.uk or by calling 0300 100 1234.