Home, Sweet Home

They were young and in love – but just exactly how much did Sam and Lisa really have in common?

She’s doing this on purpose, Sam thought. As they trailed around after the estate agent in the apartment they were viewing, Lisa’s face had ‘ugh’ written all over it. She’d already turned her nose up at the sleek lines of the plush bathroom, and now the kitchen – all chrome handles and black granite worktops – was being disapproved of, too.

‘What’s the sound-proofing like under all this?’ she asked the agent while tapping her shoe on the shiny laminate.

The young agent consulted her folder of notes. ‘This is an A-grade conversion from office space. Everything’s top-notch.’

Lisa muttered under her breath, ‘Like the price…’

Through the large kitchen window, the city spread out below, vast and glittering with lights as the sun’s golden glow was replaced with shadowy dusk. The sight made Sam’s heart ache. Since they were both now in their 30s, ‘living together’ seemed a logical step. Lisa had even promised to carry him over the threshold. That’s the kind of girl she was.

He wiped a soppy grin off his face. He didn’t want to look like a cocker spaniel wagging its tail. Lisa was always accusing him of that.

‘It’s just a few streets away from both our offices,’ he pointed out. ‘It’s close to the best theatres and restaurants. It’s a great place to settle down.’

He resisted the urge to throw his arms around his girlfriend. Given the mood she was in, it wouldn’t get him a kiss or a promise of something more. ‘You’ll love living in the city,’ he added, his heart thudding against his ribs. ‘All you have to do is say yes.’

Lisa chewed her lip. He knew she walked a set route from the station to her office every day, never venturing into any street beyond that.

He, on the other hand, was a Manchester boy. He knew all the sights and all the best places to visit. He joked he could name every pigeon the city owned.

‘Lisa, come on.’ He spread his arms. ‘This place is spectacular!’

She wandered away from him, taking another tour of the kitchen. She stared through the huge window as the night turned the stark high-rises into a dazzling fairyland. ‘OK, so it’s… nice.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘It reminds me of your flat, actually, except it’s bigger and built for two.’

Making love under skylights while clouds skim above us. Is there something wrong with that? Sam thought, narrowing his eyes. ‘Well, my place is heaps better than yours,’ he said.

‘Perhaps you’d like one more look at the Jacuzzi bath?’ interrupted the estate agent as if sensing a fight brewing. Only, then she changed her mind. ‘No, the bedroom. Why don’t you two have another look at that while I make a call to my office?’

In the bedroom, Sam kissed Lisa. They slipped their arms around each and stood there tying themselves into a tight little knot.

‘What on earth is she going to think we’re doing in here?’ Lisa asked Sam.

Sam laughed. ‘Why don’t you just imagine getting an extra hour’s sleep in here, with no train to catch?’

Lisa pulled away suddenly from their close embrace.

‘Sam,’ she said. ‘I’ve sort of made an appointment to see another place. A cottage in the country.’

His stomach tightened. ‘OK,’ he conceded. ‘I suppose there’s no harm in looking, is there?’

That earned him another kiss, then a whisper in his ear that made his cheeks flush.

He’s not giving the place a chance, is he? she thought dejectedly. Sam was using his ‘yuk’ face. Lisa kept shooting glances back at him as they trailed after the estate agent across the cobbled yard of the cottage she wanted him to adore.

They’d just driven over down the tortuous narrow lanes from his tiny flat. Why? They could easily have taken the train. OK, so the village of Wallyhort didn’t have the most attractive name, and the yard they walked across was muddy and covered in straw. She’d advised him to wear wellingtons, but Sam had claimed he’d never owned a pair. Now his light-grey chinos were speckled with dirt.

The young, ruddy-cheeked estate agent waved a hand at the house. ‘There are two acres behind the stable block, plus a small barn.’

Sam’s mouth dropped open. ‘A what?’

‘It’s for hay and straw for the horse.’ Lisa linked arms with him, fearing he might skitter away like a nervous equine himself. ‘We want a horse?’

‘Or two.’ She smiled as the estate agent led the way.

The young man’s wellies made a slopping noise all the way up to the cottage. As he unlocked the door with a big, black key and pushed it open, the smell of dust wafted out.

Lisa towed Sam forward by his arm. ‘Imagine it repainted. It’ll be all Horse & Hound and Country Life.’

‘I don’t read either of those.’ Inside the hall, Lisa watched him gawp in shock at a tiny, wooden window, then gape at the dark, wooden beams overhead. He stared at the plaster walls and narrow staircase that spiralled up

‘Imagine it repainted. It’ll be all Horse & Hound and Country Life’

to the top floor. Then, turning pale, he took in a heavy, wooden door that looked to him like part of a fence.

‘This is a listed building, of course,’ the agent went on, dipping his head to negotiate the doorway that led into the kitchen.

The room had a butcher’s block and a Belfast sink. ‘It’s been sympathetically restored.’

Sam muttered, ‘It doesn’t look like it’s been restored at all.’

They clomped up the creaking stairs. From the landing, they were shown into the bathroom. Sam swallowed hard. He refused even to venture near the freestanding, copper bath. ‘Is that from the dark ages?’ he asked.

‘The master bedroom!’ The agent led them onward, though the room he showed them into looked too tiny to take a double bed. ‘Excuse me.’ His phone was ringing as he pulled it from his pocket and darted off.

‘Lisa?’ Sam said.

Lisa embraced him around his waist. ‘Can’t you see us here?’

‘No. The walls aren’t even straight. It looks like one breath of wind will knock the place over. This reminds me of that awful house you rent now in the middle of nowhere.’

Lisa frowned. Making love in a secluded back garden, al fresco, surrounded by fields? What’s not to love about that? she thought.

‘There’ll be nothing to do here at night. I saw one rundown pub when we drove through the village. One!’ He heaved a deep breath. ‘What about buying that city flat?’

She shook her head. ‘It’s just not me.’

His eyes darted about the room. ‘Well, this definitely isn’t me, either.’

They stepped away from each other as if someone had just hit the pause button on their budding love story.

‘Okay,’ said Lisa. ‘So what do we do now?’ Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the estate agent wander back in and frown.

This is looking more like the end of a relationship than the start of a new life together, she was thinking…

During the following month, they each saw the other’s ‘yuk’ or ‘ugh’ faces at least 10 times.

Today, a red-brick house faced them. Like all the others they’d viewed, it stood in what they’d decided would be the perfect compromise. Neither in the city nor country, it was somewhere in between.

‘Nice…’ Sam admired the house’s red-brick façade.

‘Ugh.’ Lisa screwed up her nose. ‘It’s been double-glazed to death.’

Inside, the kitchen had just been refitted. Sam ran his fingers across the chrome handles of pure white cabinets, grinning, while Lisa crossed her arms and glowered.

In the lounge, she nodded appreciatively at the sturdy and very real timber floor, while Sam pressed his toe into dark knots of the wood, pretty sure they were dirt stains.

Upstairs, in an airy bedroom, they looked out of a set of wide double doors at the view.

‘Fields,’ Sam said with a grimace. ‘And look! Real, live cows. I bet this place smells like a barnyard.’

Lisa, meanwhile, was staring at the very modern wallpaper. ‘Well, this will have to go!’

Sam turned to the room’s fireplace. ‘Really? A real fire in a bedroom? What happened to something with a switch running on gas?’

The estate agent – a whitehaired lady with sharp eyes – glanced from one to the other. ‘So you haven’t found any houses at all that you both like?’ Sam snorted. ‘No.’

‘It’s been hellish.’ Lisa huffed out a sigh of disgust. She sent a scalding-hot look Sam’s way. ‘The truth is we’re not sure we’re ever going to find a place.’ She pencilled some notes in a little book she carried, a deep crease appearing between her eyes.

The agent suspected it had been a while since they’d done much except bicker. She decided to move swiftly on.

‘Here’s the balcony!’ She opened the double doors in the bedroom and motioned them outside. ‘It’s large enough to take a table and chairs, and perfect for lovely, lingering, weekend breakfasts.’

She dodged back inside to answer her phone. ‘Won’t be a moment. It’s only my office.’

‘The garden’s huge,’ Sam said, gazing down at trees, shrubs and flowerbeds.

Lisa grinned. ‘I know. Isn’t it fabulous?’

‘No, it’s not,’ he snapped.

Sam motioned to the

‘We have just as many “ughs” as “yuks”. This house must be the one’

notebook she was scribbling in. ‘So, how are we doing?’

She held the book out. ‘You’re not going to believe this…’

He took the book from her and scanned the page. ‘We’ve broken even. We have just as many “ughs” as “yuks”. This house must be the one.’

They blinked at each other. They’d barely touched since his ultra-modern flat and her tumbledown cottage had come between them. Now, as if a wrecking ball had flattened both of them, Sam swept Lisa into his arms and kissed her.

She kissed him back, even more passionately.

‘Except, I don’t really like it, Sam,’ she said in a gasp, as they broke apart.

‘Me neither,’ he agreed, kissing her again. ‘I think we’re just found the flaw in our compromise plan.’

She tilted her head and squinted at the balcony. ‘This is very nice, though.’

They kissed again, then Sam added breathlessly, ‘I like the garage and the fact it’s close to a golf course.’

‘You don’t play golf!’

‘I could learn.’

They kissed again more urgently this time. ‘I can hear the birds singing,’ Sam said after a moment.

‘You don’t like birds.’

One more kiss and they were both laughing.

‘OK,’ he said, grasping her hands gently. ‘It’ll do, won’t it? It’s in the right place and we can fix the things we hate?’

‘It’ll do?’ Lisa repeated while heat rushed into her cheeks. ‘That’s hardly the way to start our lives together, is it?’

‘What I mean is…’ His kiss this time was slower.

Lisa finished his sentence belatedly for him when she could fill her lungs again.

‘We can love it better?’

‘Of course we can.’ Sam agreed, grinning.

That deserved another kiss… or two, or three.

The estate agent turned flame-red when she rejoined them. She cleared her throat to no avail. She dropped her bag down and was ignored.

At least they seem to have learned the meaning of compromise, she thought, as the young couple remained entwined in each other’s arms.

She coughed lightly into her hand to try once more to get their attention. Once again, she was wasting her time. She gave a wry smile and backed out of the room. She had a sale…