Here to help

QI sat watching an elderly couple on the train the other day. They were holding hands and chatting together all the way. It made me sad about my own relationship – we’ve got into such a rut, I don’t know how to get out of it.

Trish, Aberdeen

AHow lovely to see people who have grown older together and still enjoy each other’s company. But, instead of focusing on the negatives in your relationship, try looking at it in a different way. This couple made you stop and consider your relationship. Turn that into a positive. Now you’ve identified the rut you’re in, you and your partner have the opportunity to do something about it. If you tell him the couple made you aware that your relationship had grown stale, he’ll probably respond defensively. However, if you say that they made you think about new ways to keep a relationship alive, he’s much more likely to want to listen. That way, you can begin an ongoing dialogue.

Q

January is not my favourite time. I often feel quite low after Christmas (which I love). No-one wants to do anything now, it seems, except go on a diet! It feels a

long time to spring. I find myself unable to galvanise myself to do anything and to stop feeling so low and unhappy.

Hannah, York

A

How do you energise yourself for Christmas? It sounds like you know how to do that but seem to forget as the clock strikes midnight! While you continue to tell yourself that this time of the year is depressing, I can guarantee it won’t be fun. Instead, remind yourself how you felt and what you said to yourself around Christmas. Use the same thought processes to motivate yourself now. Put this energy into creating new things to do. I’m sure your friends will be delighted because most of them won’t want to sit around till spring either!