I can’t reach my targets

QIt’s week four in the year and I’ve already failed to meet my targets. Every year, I sit down in December and set some goals and every year by this point I’ve failed. It’s so

disappointing. I want to lose weight and keep on top of my filing. I’d like to complete my evening course as I do want to improve my French but I am so behind that it isn’t worth going. I have 12 goals on my list.

Janet, West london

ATwelve sounds a lot! I’m not surprised you’re

finding it hard – they must be taking all your time. Why not take a look at your list and decide on the top three. Put the others away until you’ve succeeded with those.

I also wonder if there are conflicting thoughts in your head. One says you want to meet these goals and the other says it doesn’t matter. But, if it really mattered, I think you’d find a way to complete whatever it is. I’m also wondering whether you’ve set clear goals with a positive outcome. Without this, it’s hard to stay focused. Check that you know the objective. If, for example, you say to yourself it would be nice to understand French when you’re on holiday but you’ll get by anyway, it won’t happen. There needs to be a compelling purpose.

One way to stay on track is to find an accountability partner, someone who’ll check in with you each week to see how you’re doing. Another helpful strategy is doing something with someone. Do you have a friend who’d like to go to French classes? Knowing you’d be letting them down will be another incentive to go!

Keren welcomes your letters, emails and texts, but she cannot reply to individual cases and will select correspondence at random for publication.