They’re acting like children
Q The original Christmas rules meant that I wouldn’t have been able to see all my children. We have four and they have families. They all asked us to come to them, and I made my decision based on several things and had planned to go to one daughter. My son has accepted it but my other two daughters will hardly talk to me even though, in the end, we went nowhere. Sandra, North London
A It was a hard decision to make and inevitably someone was going to feel left out. The fact it didn’t happen hasn’t stopped it triggering all the sibling rivalries your two daughters had when they were children. My hunch is they’re behaving more like children than adults. If you try to cajole them, it will just continue. Talk to them as adults, ask them to tell you what you should have done and what they’d like you to do if there is a next time. Thank them for the answer. If they see you’re not defensive, they’ll understand it was going to be impossible for you to please them all. You can assure them that, if it ever happened again, you’d go to one of them.
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