My mother is being needy

QMy father died three years ago and my mother calls or texts me all the time. If I don’t respond, she contacts me even more. I know she’s lonely but we have nothing to say to each other and I don’t have the time. How do

I stop this without hurting her feelings?

Katherine, Leeds

ALet’s look at this in a different way. What are your mother’s needs? You say she’s lonely, so I expect she has little interaction with others. Who else in her social network could she make contact with? Encourage her to contact them. She may need a little help with this but it could lead to less dependency on you. There are also charities that offer a befriending service.

Take a look into what is available locally.

A visitor once or twice a week could make all the difference. Lastly, explain to her what you can and can’t do, and reassure her it isn’t because you don’t love her. I expect, if she has a bit more social contact, she’ll need you less.

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