I’ve offended my daughterin-law

QMy son lives in the States and has not been home for a long time due to COVID-19. He has a three-yearold, who we last saw as a small baby. I know they’re short of money so I’ve offered to pay for him and his son to come over to see his now very old and unwell grandmother, as well as us. He says it’s not fair for me to exclude his wife, who also needs a holiday. We really can’t afford the fare for the three of them. Helena, Wilmslow

AFrom what you’ve said, you’re offering to pay for him to come to see his grandmother before she dies. It’s more of a mercy mission than a holiday. But as they live so far away, it does mean being away from home for a while, which

could be behind your daughter-in-law’s upset. I think it might be a good idea for you to call her and discuss the situation. Tell her that you would like her to come on the visit too. Perhaps see if they could afford to pay for one ticket. Once they fully understand, I expect they’ll accept the conditions, even if they don’t like them.

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