I can’t afford what they’re asking for

Q

For the past five years, my son and daughter-in-law have said they don’t want anything for their birthdays or Christmas. I always buy their children presents. They have a birthday in the same month and it’s coming up.

I asked, as I always do, what they want, and they came up with something that’s really expensive. I might have spent that money over many years but I don’t have it now in one lump sum. What do I say? Claire, Ramsgate

A

I think you need to explain to them just as you have to me. With hindsight, maybe you could have saved the money you would have spent in case they did this, or given it to them for saving at a later stage. But you didn’t. I’m sure they will understand.

It’s possible they thought as you hadn’t bought anything, you wouldn’t mind it being expensive now. This conversation will give you an opportunity to come up with a plan for the future so this situation doesn’t arise again.