She needs to rest!

Q I have a friend who’s seriously unwell. She has a degenerative disease that will probably kill her unless a treatment is found. She works extremely long hours in a charity that she’s passionate about. I think she should stop volunteering but, when confronted, she says that the clients are worse off than her. I can’t bear watching her do this to herself. It’s obvious that rest would help her. What can I do? Name and address withheld

A The short answer is nothing. She’s a grown-up and she knows as much, if not more, about her illness than you. She has decided that this is the best way for her to manage her life. You say she’s passionate about her work so I expect this is helping her to feel fulfilled. What you can do is be there for her, to listen and offer any support she asks for. Nagging her to slow down will just add to her stress. So, hard as it is, if you can say nothing, or very little, that will offer the best support to your friend.