How do I manage the situation?

QI‘ve always thought I was open-minded; I certainly am about everyone else. I feel bad confessing this, but our son has just told us he’s gay and, although we were supportive, I’m not comfortable with it. He wants to bring his boyfriend home to sleep over. We have let our other children do this, so I know I should say yes.

Name and address withheld

AThank you for your openness. I’m sure many parents feel similarly faced with this type of situation. You’re willing to share that you have deep-seated beliefs that go against what you believe are your values. You also know that, rationally, if you’ve allowed your other children to have their

partners sleep over and yet refuse your gay son to follow suit, this might well cause him to withdraw from his family. Take a moment and think about these beliefs. Are they yours of today or old beliefs held when you were a child? Are you worrying about what others might think? If that’s the case, just drop it. If you think you can’t, you might find it helpful to talk it through with a counsellor so that you can understand your feelings and what’s behind your decision-making.

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