THE SCHMOOZE

Behavioural investigator Vanessa Van Edwards† reveals how to work a room

TAKE POSITION

It can feel tempting to loiter near the door and greet people. Don’t. Avoid standing near the food, too. These are transitional zones – people don’t stand around them for long. Instead, pick a social zone, like the kitchen, and hang out there. People will be drawn to you, instead of you to them, and you can keep busy topping up drinks, while also being the life and soul.

MIX ’N’ MATCH

There’s nothing more awkward than two people loitering near each other, neither one of them willing to break the ice. That’s your job. You know them both, so find their point of mutual interest. If all else fails, introduce people with interesting details. ‘Rachel, meet Sarah. Sarah runs a spinning class. Rachel’s just started a new job close to your studio.’ Your work here is done.

WATCH OUT FOR THE CLINGERS-ON

There will be at least one person who knows no one and will find excuses to keep coming back to you. To avoid them becoming your shadow, introduce them to at least three other people. That way, they won’t be back the moment one of their new mates goes for a wee.

MEET AND GREET

Someone’s coming in for the hug and you can’t place their face, or their name. Nothing shatters a person’s self-esteem quite as effectively as a ‘nice to meet you’ from someone you’ve met before. It tells you that you made zero impression on them and it’s about as welcoming as a punch in the face. Always go with ‘nice to see you’ – it covers all bases.

CUT AND RUN

Whether it’s that couple who insist on showing you all of their 297 Spanish holiday selfies or the friend who thinks it’s socially acceptable to spend upwards of seven minutes talking about her broken boiler, you’ll need some get-outs up your sleeve. Asking about a future plan is a good wrapper-upper. It means you can say, ‘Good luck with that,’ and move on. Adiós.