JUDGEMENT

Reality check: life is not a TV talent show. So while it might be appropriate to press a big red button of judgement from the comfort of your living room, it doesn’t fly over brunch. If a ‘good old bitch’ leaves you feeling anything but, there’s a reason:

THE DAMAGE

Aside from a starring role in the sequel to How To Lose Friends & Alienate People? It’s your mental health that will really suffer. ‘Thinking critical or judgemental thoughts trains your mind towards the negative so, over time, you’ll develop a habit of looking for mistakes, imperfections and problems in any situation,’ says anxiety expert Chloe Brotheridge. Your physical health can suffer, too. ‘Judgement can sap your physical energy, increase your stress levels and make it harder to sleep,’ says Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Judgement Detox. Oh, and if you’re nice to everyone except yourself, you’re not off the hook – your inner critic is doing you no good, either, with a recent study linking self-criticism with anxiety and depression.

THE CLEAN-UP

Start by removing the source of your judgement. If you’re a serial scroller, a social media detox will help. ‘Society places enormous value on social status, looks and material wealth, so we use judgement to insulate ourselves from the pain of feeling inadequate,’ says Bernstein. ‘Remove the medium and you remove the emotional response.’ A temporary break won’t rid you of your inner mean girl indefinitely – for that, you need to get to the root of why you feel the need to comment on the behaviour of others. If you’re pouring scorn on someone’s career success, perhaps you’re unhappy at work. As for telling your inner critic to do one? It starts with self-compassion. Researchers from the University of British Columbia found that as self-compassion levels rose, so did a person’s engagement with life and motivation. Psychologist Dr Chris Germer recommends a mindfulness exercise. ‘Start by telling yourself that this is a moment of suffering, and that suffering is a part of life,’ he says. ‘Next, repeat a mantra, like “I will be kind to myself”, replacing the word “kind” with whatever word you need.’ Kind of great.