GABRIELLE UNION
Her latest role doesn’t come with a script or handy stage directions. As a new mum, actress Gabrielle Union is writing her unconventional story as she goes – and learning what it means to raise a strong daughter
She’s a Hollywood movie star and a new mum after a long struggle with fertility. Find out how Gabrielle Union stays fit and full of energy with baby in tow
‘The idea of surrogacy, at first, felt like surrendering to failure’
he welcomed her first child into the world just eight days before our interview, but Gabrielle Union shows little sign of sleep deprivation. Easygoing in jeans, a red checked shirt and a pair of Fear Of God trainers, she looks surprisingly fresh as she arrives at one of her go-to local haunts, a beer tavern near the home she shares with her husband, Miami Heat basketball star Dwyane Wade, in Sherman Oaks, California.
She comes in for a hug before sliding into the corner booth, and though she’s quick to admit that she got a bit more rest than usual last night, the actress-producer says her new normal is ‘like that second day in Vegas where you’re all, “I’m not sleeping Saturday away. I’m going to day-party and rally!” But your body is like, “Are you crazy?” You’re exhausted and you kind of start to feel a little ill because you haven’t slept.’ That’s not to say she’s complaining. This is part of being a parent, and it’s just one of the many aspects Gabrielle is up for, following a lengthy struggle with infertility.
Before the arrival of her daughter, Kaavia James Union Wade, who was born via surrogate, Gabrielle suffered some eight or nine miscarriages and underwent three years of failed IVF treatments, all of which she chronicles in her 2017 memoir, We’re Going To Need More Wine. Last summer, she revealed she’d been diagnosed – after years of searching for answers – with adenomyosis, a condition that can cause intense periods and an enlarged uterus. It could be the reason why she was unable to carry to term. ‘There was nothing I wanted more than to cook my own baby,’ says the 46-year-old, who helps raise Wade’s nephew and two sons from a previous marriage.
But once she was down to three embryos, surrogacy seemed like the best option.
‘The idea of it felt like surrendering to failure,’ Gabrielle says, when speaking about welcoming a surrogate into their lives. Yet she pushed past those emotions and shifted her focus to finding the right woman to carry her baby. ‘Some people care about the race, religion or food habits of their surrogate,’ she says. ‘I was like, “I want a reader.”’ When Gabrielle met a potential surrogate who shared her love of books, she knew she’d found the one. ‘She said, “I love the smell of the pages,”’ remembers Gabrielle. It was the sign she needed.
Imagining the public’s reaction was a tough hurdle, too. ‘People want to see the bump, hear that you got haemorrhoids – they want to know that you’re like them. I was like, this is going to seem like the most Hollywood shit ever – will I be embraced as a mum?
It’s terrifying.’ But when her baby finally arrived, those feelings were replaced by ones of fierce love, loyalty and a serious sense of protectiveness. ‘I was like, “Oh my god, this is my baby,”’ she recalls. ‘I wanted to fight
everybody in that room for various reasons and no reason.’
Though she’d been trying for years, becoming a parent in her forties ended up being the right timing for Gabrielle, whose breakout role in the 2000 film
Bring It On was followed by films like Think Like A Man and
Breaking In, and the TV series
Being Mary Jane. ‘Any earlier and the FOMO would have greatly influenced how I parented,’ she says. ‘I’ve seen it. I’ve done it. I’ve done it well. I’ve got all the T-shirts. Now, I’m in the right mindset and mental space, and I’m open to being the best mum I can be.’
Gabrielle has picked up plenty of tools over the years to enable her to maintain mental equilibrium. One of them is to occasionally indulge in ‘eating what the hell I want and not thinking about it’, she says, while nodding at the table where her order of garlic Parmesan fries, chicken wings and beer sits. Her self-care routine also includes finding a moment alone to enjoy some quiet time (‘I appreciate silence’), reading (‘let me just get a chapter in’) and listening to the Affirmation Pod podcast by Josie Ong. Whipping out her phone, Gabrielle reads the titles of a few episodes she’s played recently: ‘Motivation for a new beginning’ and ‘You are worthy and deserving’. ‘I’ll listen to these while I’m brushing my teeth or getting a facial,’ says Gabrielle. ‘She always drops some nuggets.’
Maintaining an active lifestyle and getting plenty of fresh air are also key to Gabrielle’s wellbeing. ‘I need sun,’ she says. ‘I need vitamin D on my face. Give me a trail, a park, a walk down the street with the dogs, a breeze, rain.
I’ll go hike. I’ll get a lawn chair and sit outside my work trailer so I’m not trapped inside.’ When she’s in Miami, where she and Wade have a second home, she’ll jump on a jet ski or hit the gym with the kids. ‘Training together, struggling,
failing, trying to get better – it’s been a cool thing that doesn’t feel like, “Let’s go talk about our feelings.” It’s like, I’m a cool mum!’
Approachable is exactly the kind of parent she hopes to be for her daughter. ‘I want to let her be free,’ says Gabrielle, who wrestled with identity issues after moving, at a young age, from a mostly black neighbourhood in Nebraska to a primarily white one in Pleasanton, California. ‘I want to instil in her morals, values. And then I want to give her space to fill in those gaps, fall on her ass and make mistakes. Get an F because she didn’t study. Pick the wrong dude. Pick the wrong friends and figure it out. I don’t want to be super-judgy.’
Gabrielle knows the entertainment industry can be just that, so when she acknowledges some of the sacrifices she makes to keep herself camera-ready, it’s with an ‘it is what it is’ attitude. While on set during the week, she drinks lots of water, eats healthy fats and a diet that’s gluten-free, dairy-free and low-salt. She first implemented this way of eating in early 2018 while dealing with IVF side effects, including intense bloating. ‘My face looked like the surface of the moon and small chunks of hair were falling out,’ she says. ‘At 9am, I had a flat stomach. By noon, I looked like I was five months pregnant.’
To help get her body back on track, she consulted Alisa Vitti, a functional nutritionist and women’s hormone expert. ‘She said, “Cut out gluten, dairy, alcohol and caffeine and see whether the swelling alleviates and if it helps with your skin and hair,”’ says Gabrielle. ‘I felt like she was trying to torture me.’ But, after only a few days, she noticed a big difference. ‘So I did it for six weeks,’ she adds. ‘Then I was like, “I need a drink.”’ Drinking is something she won’t be giving up again. But sticking to a healthy eating pattern and adding 15 to 20 minutes of daily cardio, plus strengthtraining and Pilates, to her schedule keeps her body fit and her head clear. Morning sweat sessions fit best with Gabrielle’s schedule, but she’d much rather pull the covers back over her head when the alarm goes off. ‘You know how you swing your legs off to the side of the bed?’ she asks. ‘That’s when you really think about life’s decisions: how much would it cost if I cancel? What does the traffic look like? Should I go back to sleep?’ It’s usually cold-brew coffee and the guilt of cancelling lastminute that get her going. ‘I don’t leave people hanging.’
In fact, part of the thrill of having her own production company, I’ll Have Another, is helping others realise their dreams. ‘Creating opportunities, especially for creatives of colour, to start careers, advance, get paid – it’s the best,’ she says. As a dedicated mum, wife, actress and boss, Gabrielle has plenty of knowledge about being a strong woman to pass on to the one she’s raising.
‘I need vitamin D on my face. Give me a trail, a park, a walk down the street with the dogs’