Women's Health (UK)

WORLDS APART

- WORDS ROISÍN DERVISH-O’KANE

Socially distanced Britain is a lonely place, as our data shows – here’s what you can do

Loneliness has risen to the fore over the past 12 months, as normal ways of living, loving and working have been profoundly disrupted. On the following pages, among our findings on what loneliness looks like right now, and accounts of how it feels, you’ll find our research-backed strategy to future-proof your social health

Perhaps you felt it one Thursday evening, when you’d have given anything to be catching up with pals over a table groaning with pasta you didn’t cook. Maybe it was your live-in partner’s chat that left you longing for the wit and creativity of your workmates’ minds. Or perhaps you were surrounded by noisy, small dependents, making it plain that you’re very much not alone, when you felt that unmistakab­le pang of disconnect­ion that we’ve come to know as loneliness.

Whatever it looks like to you, we suspect you’ve felt it. A growing body of research is revealing loneliness to be one of the most pernicious aftershock­s of the pandemic. Data from the Officefor National Statistics indicates that, exacerbate­d by Covid restrictio­ns, it’s reached its highest-ever levels this winter, with 4.2 million people describing themselves as always or often lonely. These aren’t just the elderly or physically isolated – these are women like you. In autumn last year, with the prospect of a second national lockdown looming, we surveyed over 2,000 WH readers, followers and listeners on the subject of connection, and a staggering 79% of you told us you feel lonelier now than you did before the pandemic. For a community formed around a shared passion for health, this is troubling news. Loneliness is a serious risk factor for poor health, contributi­ng to outcomes like depression, lower immunity and even early mortality. But you already know this particular emotion is doing you no good. Here at Women’s Health, our goal is to bring you evidence-based advice that helps you become the healthiest version of yourself. And now that we know where we are, we want to change where we’re going.

A PANDEMIC-FRIENDLY PLAN

So, how do you find a remedy for an emotional ailment like loneliness? That’s the question we put to Jeffrey Hall, professor of communicat­ion studies at the University of Kansas and one of the freshest thinkers in the science of human connection. After years of research, Professor Hall came up with a hypothesis. ‘My colleague Andy Merolla from the University of California came up with the term “social biome” in spring 2017. It’s based upon a few core principles that I’d come across over my 10 years spent researchin­g human connection,’ he says. ‘The first is that humans have a fundamenta­l need to belong, the second is that conversati­on can be categorise­d into different episodes of communicat­ion (ie, meaningful talk, catching up, expressing concern) and third is the idea of social nutrition.’ The latter – first spotted in academic journals in the mid 1990s – is a theory based on the principle that social health is not dissimilar to nutrition in that some interactio­ns are better for you than others, and that seeking out good quality interactio­ns can improve your social biome, much like eating good-quality foods can affect the one in your gut. ‘The most nutritious interactio­ns are those that take place face-to-face or over the phone with someone you love or care for,’ he says. But the content of these chats matters, too. ‘Conversati­ons in which you talk about something meaningful (the big stuff or things that matter to you), catch up, joke around or express concern or affection are particular­ly nutritious. And it’s important to seek out a balance of all four.’

In short, your social nutrition – like the other kind – requires a proactive approach. To that end, we asked Professor Hall to draw up some guidelines for getting your social health in good shape – and if you already eat the rainbow, his advice should be easy to digest: strive for five socially nutritious interactio­ns every day. Remember: that’s a meaningful, fun or caring conversati­on with someone you love or care for. ‘And while five is a good number to shoot for, it doesn’t have to be five – if that’s unachievab­le, aim for two or three,’ says Professor Hall. ‘The goal is to take a more considered approach to your social health, and every interactio­n counts.’ This is the message at the heart of our new campaign, The Loneliness Remedy. On these pages, on the WH website and on our podcast, Going For Goal, you’ll find advice, strategies and do-today tools to help you prioritise your social nutrition. Just look out for The Loneliness Remedy badge. In the meantime, turn the page to see what loneliness looks like among WH readers right now and, crucially, to find out what you can do to keep this feeling at bay.

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