THE CONFIDENCE COACH WILL SEE YOU NOW

Situations that can rattle you (and how to ace them)

When you’re… Starting a new job

What you’re experiencing: First-day nerves, imposter syndrome

The fix: ‘Remember to listen more than you talk,’ says confidence coach Erica Wolfe-murray. After all, these first few days are for them to explain the work and for you to receive that information. ‘Understanding the MO of your new workplace is a fast-track to feeling more comfortable, and that includes watching the dynamic of the team, which can be harder to pick up if you’re joining remotely – so pay close attention, and ask questions if you’re confused by anything.’ If you’re struggling to summon the relaxed, warm and engaged vibe you’d like to bring, Wolfe-murray urges you to remember the following: that you’ve been hired because you’ve got the right skills and experience and will be a good fit for the team, so you

100% deserve to be there.

When you’re… Not feeling body-confident

What you’re experiencing:

Comparison anxiety, poor body image The fix: Life coach Lucy Keaveny recommends planning a workout that helps you feel strong and accomplished. ‘For some, that might be running or HIIT, while others might get this feeling from a vinyasa flow or doing an upper-body workout with heavy dumbbells – it’s about what helps you

feel great,’ she says. It makes sense: you’ll get a dose of feel-good neurochemicals, the productivity and energy boost that comes from working out, and the powerful reminder that feeling body-confident isn’t simply about how yours looks, but what it can do.

When you’re… Going on a date

What you’re experiencing: Social anxiety, nerves rooted in low self-esteem

The fix: ‘Identify whatever it is that’s causing you to feel low in confidence and think of a phrase that directly contradicts what your inner critic is saying, then write it on Post-it notes to reinforce the message,’ says Keaveny. Whether that’s, ‘You have a beautiful smile,’ or, ‘You are fun and engaging’, repeat them out loud to yourself regularly on the days before. On date day? Cue your confidence with rituals – be that a bath, a blow-dry or blasting out music that makes you feel great – and remember the other person will likely feel the same jitters, advises Wolfe-murray. ‘Take a deep breath and remember that it’s a conversation – not a performance – so, ask about them, don’t just talk about yourself.’ You’ll appear at ease and they’ll mirror your vibes – whether your meet-up is Zoom-enabled or IRL.