THE REACHING OUT RULEBOOK

What to consider if you’re keen to revive platonic relationships from your past

PICTURE YOUR BEST-CASE SCENARIO

This will help you work out whether this is a call – or a dinner – worth scheduling. Ask yourself what you want, suggests Dr Mort. ‘Would you like to be friends again? And if so, what sort of friends? Or is it that you want to remember that person and the time that you shared?’ Both are fine, she adds, but as with any interaction that you’re initiating, it’s useful to be clear about your expectations.

ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE LONELY

‘Loneliness has given people an almost primal urge to connect,’ says Dr Mort. She cautions that looking to the past to remedy loneliness can be problematic, as this drive to connect can make you gloss over the relationship’s negative aspects. The solution? Prioritise meeting your social needs with your alive-andkicking relationships first. If you still want to connect with that person, then you know it’s for real.

DO SOME EMOTIONAL SAFEGUARDING

If nostalgia has left you looking to heal old wounds, proceed with caution – and consider the worst-case scenario, as well as the best. This is especially important if you’re the one seeking absolution. ‘Will you be okay with simply sending an apology knowing that you might not get a response?’ ask Dr Mort. Or, indeed, if you receive a negative one? Avoid making yourself needlessly vulnerable if that rejection is too much to handle right now.