THE BROKE WOMAN’S GUIDE TO GETTING OFF

Consider this your cheat sheet to orgasms that don’t send you into your overdraft

IF YOU’RE… A FIRST-TIMER Lovehoney Magic Bullet lovehoney.co.uk, £12.99 -

There’s a reason a bullet vibrator is the most popular first sex toy: it’s extremely user-friendly. Simply press the on switch and use the pointed tip on, against or around your clitoris and vulva. Most bullet vibrators at this price have one speed – this has 10. Magic, indeed.

IF YOU’RE… DOING IT ON THE DOWN-LOW Smile Makers The Firefighter cultbeauty.co.uk, £44.95 -

Not only is The Firefighter silent, its sculptural quality means it’s not instantly clock-able as a sex toy. The innovative ‘helmet’ design (see what they did there?) is a multitasker: when held against the vulva, it’ll stimulate the clitoris and labia at the same time.

IF YOU’RE… IN A COUPLE Tease Finger Vibrator lovehoney.co.uk, £12.99 -

Fingering is not just for sixth form. This device is designed to fit snugly on a finger – be that your own or someone else’s. Pop it on and let the good times roll. Side note: make sure that you coat the toy with plenty of water-based lubricant to enjoy it at its breathtaking best.