Painter length

If there’s one thing guaranteed to wind up a tired sailor coming ashore after a hard day on the water, it’s not being able to bring his dinghy alongside to unload. It’s common to find more tenders in the designated area than woodwork to tie them to, but it only takes half a dozen selfserving individuals to convert this minor shortfall into a nightmare of annoyance and hazard.

Secure a dinghy on a ten-foot painter and any new arrival can shove it out and get his own boat safely alongside. When he’s done, he also rigs a long line, kicks his own boat clear, and so on. If a few are tied up short, they can’t be moved and nobody else can get to the dock. People have to scramble over them, often they are half-full of water and it’s just a matter of time before someone takes a tumble. Now that the good old pillory has been discontinued by a misguided government, I’m tempted just to cut these boats free.

‘Give them a pair of oars and they will find out how to manoeuvre a boat’