Ill Lee is so moved by acts of kindness
A high-ranking soldier with incurable cancer tells of the power of simple acts and why he has been moved by his community’s compassion. Ruby Kitchen reports.
APPEAL: Army veteran
Lee Earnshaw has been overwhelmed by acts of kindness after an online appeal was launched for his family following his diagnosis with terminal cancer.
He is now trying to thank everyone, as he prepares to take his children on what could be a last family holiday.
FACING AN incurable cancer diagnosis, father Lee Earnshaw has been deeply moved by the compassion of his community and the power of simple acts.
An appeal by the Army veteran, hailed a hero for his service abroad, saw thousands donated within days this summer after he was told he may have only months to live.
He has seen what small acts can do, he says as he prepares to take his children on what could be a last family holiday, gifted by British Airways. And he is determined to pass it on.
“I refuse to be beaten,” says the 42-year-old from Doncaster. “Every knockback I get, it’s just another speedbump on the road.
“And if I can help someone else, it makes a difference. If one person gives one act of kindness, it opens a door. Say hello, say good morning – buy someone a cup of coffee.
“Kindness is free, isn’t it? No matter what your challenge, look at what you can achieve.”
Mr Earnshaw, who left the Army after 22 years in 2016 having risen to the rank of Regimental Sergeant Major, was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer in June.
Husband to Natalie, 43, and father to Joshua, 19, Owen,
16, and Niamh, 10, he had just returned from a holiday in the half-term, cycling 500 miles.
A sore leg, expected to be a calf strain, turned out to be a warning sign. Amid the whirlwind that was to follow, he was told the cancer was advanced.
“I can’t even describe what it was like,” he said. “Having to tell my three kids.
“I’ve always looked after my wife and children. I’ve worked, since I was 15, I’ve always provided. I didn’t want to leave them in the lurch.”
Just weeks ago, there was a further blow, when a lesion was found on his brain.
He underwent revolutionary stereotactic radiosurgery at Sheffield Hospital, gamma ray treatment which takes just an hour and which saw him back at work the following day.
But Mr Earnshaw had been presented with a stark choice by extended family and friends; launch an appeal himself to raise funds to protect his family or they would do it for him.
“It was difficult to ask for help,” he said. “I’m a proud man, and I’ve always provided for my family.
“In the end, it was the realisation that I didn’t want to leave Natalie and the children in a position where, financially, they were going to lose the house.
“We’re not rich, but we’ve been comfortable, and that lifestyle is going to have to change,” he adds. “I’m trying to build what I can, to help Nat in that first year.
“She’s my rock, my best friend, my soulmate. She tells me to cheer up when I need it.
“We are smashing it together. We’re a team – we always have been.”
The appeal, although still short of its target of £30,000, has now raised over £26,000 while the family are leaving for Florida this week after being gifted a holiday by British Airways.
“It was humbling, to see the response,” said Mr Earnshaw. “People were helping without thinking, I can never thank them enough.
“How could you express something like that?
“How do you show the difference it makes? I want to bring it forward.”
Mr Earnshaw, while realistic about his diagnosis, refuses to let it colour this time. He wants to use it, he says, to share as much kindness as he can.
He is still working, as an operational manager at Amazon, and has now taken on charity fundraisers for mental health charity MIND.
More than that though, he is broadening his reach, giving keynote speeches at events, and working with around 150 veterans to help them transition into civilian life.
“These are people I’ve never met,” he says. “There’s no gain – but I refuse to be negative. I want to live a positive story. I’m hoping to help as many people as I can. It makes me feel good, it gives me something to aim for.
“And I refuse to give in. When it takes me it takes me, but I’m not going without a fight.”
It was humbling... people were helping without thinking..
Army veteran Lee Earnshaw after people raised thousands for his appeal.