Helping to ‘Break the Silence’ of a coercive relationship
Friends Joanna Hinchcliffe and Charlotte Brooke run a support group in Wakefield for people in controlling and coercive relationships. Nick Frame reports.
FOR DECADES, blackened eyes and split lips have been the unflinching hallmarks of domestic abuse. But for those bearing physical scars, there are as many who have none, leaving little hope of proving the abuse they have suffered.
A landmark shift in the law in 2015 has sought to change that, successfully turning domestic abuse through coercive control into a criminal act. In layman’s terms, it means emotional abuse, from name-calling to threats, intimidation, humiliation and control can now lead to prosecution.
It can include a perpetrator demanding a partner tell them of their whereabouts at all times, controlling what clothes they wear, stopping them seeing friends and taking control of their finances.
Joanna Hinchcliffe, from Horbury, near Wakefield, has suffered abuse herself and launched the Break the Silence help group for both men and women stuck in relationships with controlling partners. Whilst she welcomed the move to criminalise such behaviour, the 32-year-old says little has been done to encourage victims to come forward.
She says the effects of coercive control are hugely devastating, and in some cases, the consequences can be fatal, especially for those subjected to gaslighting – the manipulation of a partner that is so fierce the victim can begin to doubt their sanity.
“Violence is not the worst part, the mental torture is far worse and the effects of gaslighting can be catastrophic,” Joanna says. “You begin to believe what you are being told, it’s like a slow constant dripping tap and it gets into your mind.
“I was always clued up on physical abuse, I knew everything there was to know about it, but I had no idea what coercive control was. You think you are in love with that person, but you are only in love with an image that they want to create. Support for survivors of coercive control is pretty non-existent. I’m not knocking the services, but there’s just a lack of understanding.”
With her friend Charlotte Brooke, Joanna arranges drop-in sessions at Horbury’s Malt House pub every Monday morning. They were originally offered fortnightly but have increased due to demand. They provide a safe place to talk in confidence and help with the family court process and the policing system.
“Bruises will heal but the mind does not as easily,” says Charlotte, who suffered domestic abuse so badly that it drove her to attempting suicide. “These people like to manipulate and own you, cutting you off from all your friends and family.”
Since the launch of Break the Silence 19 months ago, thousands of people have been in touch on the group’s Facebook page, desperate for help.
“We’re the first to do this and the feedback has just been overwhelming,” Joanna says. “People can be sympathetic, but unless you have been through it you can’t explain it.
“I have a massive support network and if it was not for them I do not know how it would have ended for me. There can be light at the end of the tunnel, I’m living proof of that, people might feel like there’s no end to it, but there can be. If I can save one person from the abuse then my journey has been given some purpose.”
A spokesperson for West Yorkshire Police said the force had trained its officers on controlling and coercive behaviour, since it was defined as a type of crime in law five years ago.
“We have trained every single frontline officer about how they respond to victims, how they risk assess each allegation and help victims who want alternative outcomes other than a prosecution.
“We have an ongoing campaign to increase the awareness of the public on the signs of controlling and coercive behaviour to encourage further reporting.”