Lasting power of attorney can help cope with dementia pain
DEMENTIA ACTION week starts on Monday. The day has taken on a new significance for my family, ever since my dad started suffering from vascular dementia almost five years ago.
Until we were touched by it, I had no idea just how much impact it would have on every area of life – including money. It’s not just the big things like paying for care, it’s all sorts of little things that can cause enormous problems if you’re not aware of them.
The very first problem we ran into was that dad is meticulously organised, and likes to know where things are. Dementia makes this kind of information very difficult to retain, so he would repeatedly worry where his wallet and credit cards were, and need to check on them every few minutes.
This, we discovered, is incredibly common, and can escalate.
Dad’s dementia was the result of a severe stroke, which has limited his mobility, so we would put his wallet back in exactly the same place each time and were able to find it quickly.
For those with more mobility, it’s easy to forget where you left your wallet, which can lead to all kinds of problems. In some cases people can become convinced that someone is stealing from them.
Dad is also a very generous man, and just before his stroke he wanted to buy trees for his family. Occasionally, he forgets that this was four years ago, and he wants to buy everyone trees again.
Repeated purchases are also very common – although possibly not of trees. People also tend to try to pay household bills more than once, or miss them altogether.
We’re incredibly fortunate because dad did something more than 20 years ago which makes it possible for us to look after all these things for him – he set up a lasting power of attorney.
This is a document you draw
up, which nominates someone you trust to make key decisions for you – you need one for health decisions and one for financial ones, and getting both could be the best £164 you ever spend. Age UK has a really useful guide which can help you do this.
If you have an LPA there are things you can do to protect your loved one.
It lets you take over the household finances, setting up direct debits to automate bills where you can, and ensuring everything else is covered.
To protect them from unwanted purchases, one option is to ensure they have a specific sum in their current account and no debt facility. You can move money in and out from their other accounts to keep it topped up.
It means they have access to their money, with a limited downside if something goes wrong.
If they prefer to carry cash, you can withdraw a particular sum on a regular basis, and ensure they take the same
amount out with them each day. You can also encourage them to consider keeping a cashbook, where they make a note of their spending.
If there’s no LPA, you can ask them to set up a third-party mandate, which means you can keep an eye on their accounts.
Some businesses let you link accounts – which has a very similar effect. If things deteriorate and you need more control, without an LPA you will need to apply to become a deputy.
This will give you specific powers, although it comes at a cost. The Alzheimer’s Society has a guide which can take you through the process.
Unfortunately, because this illness can make you vulnerable, some unscrupulous people may try to take advantage.
People with dementia may have trouble remembering their PIN, and their efforts to remember it may mean they tell someone else, or write it down and reveal it accidentally. Either you or they can talk to their bank and arrange to have a card that lets them spend with their signature.
Sufferers also find it difficult to know who to trust, so they can fall victim to scammers.
One way to protect them is to make it harder for scammers to reach them, with a call blocker for their phone, and by signing up to the telephone preference service and the mailing preference service, to cut down junk mail and nuisance calls.
If you have an LPA, it’s also worth keeping an eye on their account for unexpected withdrawals. And you can check their post for an increase in scam letters or junk mail – which can happen if you respond to a fraudster.
It’s hard to imagine, but there are cases when people who are trusted to help can take advantage too, and an estimated 15% of people with dementia have been victims of financial abuse.
An LPA will keep you protected from them, but it’s also worth staying alert if they start showing anxiety when it comes to money, because it may reflect that they’re under pressure.
None of these things are easy to deal with, but an LPA and a keen understanding of the risks can help enormously.
Of course, all that becomes far easier when you know that someone has dementia, which is why this Dementia Action Week focuses on the importance of diagnosis.
This has dropped off, partly because of the impact of the pandemic on every corner of the health service, but also because some people assume memory loss is just part of getting old, and some will struggle to face up to the reality of their situation.
If you have any concerns, about yourself or a loved one, it’s worth talking to your GP. You can also get help from the Alzheimer’s Society, who can help you understand dementia, and get to grips with the best ways of adapting to life with it.