HE CAN’T SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH ME

I am dreading Christmas and it is causing a number of arguments. My husband and I have been together for three years and we love each other very much. We are both in our 40s. He was married before and has three children under the age of 12. I do not have any children. He is insisting on spending most of Christmas Day with them and his ex-wife. He did that last year and I think that now it should be my turn, rather than us just spending the evening together. But he insists on being with them. What should I do? This must be difficult for you, but as your husband’s children are still quite young, spending Christmas with their father is probably very important to them (and him). If he did not go, they could feel deeply hurt and rejected. I am sure it is tough to know that he is spending time with his ex-wife, especially if they still have a close relationship. Do you get on well with her and his children? If you do, could you spend the day with them all as well? If this would be too awkward, the best thing to do is let him spend this time with his children without complaint, while making sure that you have somewhere nice to go during the day. Perhaps you could visit a sibling or friend, before seeing him in the evening. If you let him put his children first on Christmas Day, he will love you all the more for it. intelligent woman – how was I so taken in? Why do men lie like this? Not all men lie, but it seems as though this person was highly unscrupulous and determined to get you into bed. So he made you feel attractive and desirable and seemed completely bowled over by you. Perhaps you haven’t had a boyfriend or partner for some time, so you were vulnerable and fell for his charms. In your heart, you may have known that he seemed too keen too quickly, but ignored the signs because you were lonely and wanted a man in your life. I know it’s not easy, but try to understand that it was better to find out now than continue the relationship only to discover the truth months, or even years, later. Generally, if a man is very full-on so early into a relationship, you should be wary. Please read How to Mend a Broken Heart by Christine Webber (Bloomsbury Reader, £12.99*).