MUM’S BEHAVIOUR IS DRIVING ME AWAY

My mother booked a holiday abroad for herself and didn’t tell me, my father or my brother, who has special needs. I was really annoyed. My parents argue a lot and my trust in them is weak. I am 33 and like the family home, but feel as though it would all go pear-shaped if I invited friends round. If I ever married, I wouldn’t want my parents at the wedding because they would let me down and cause embarrassment. Recently, when I was driving my mother home, she kept yelling at me and, that night, woke me up again and again to continue arguing. She then accused me of stealing her flight documents, which of course I hadn’t – but she raided my bedroom from top to bottom. A week later, she found them elsewhere. Am I right to feel less love for my mother than I used to? This is a stressful situation and you shouldn’t have to put up with this emotional abuse from your mother. It is completely understandable that you are feeling annoyed and embarrassed by her behaviour. Possibly your father can’t stand up to your mother either because her constant ranting has worn him down. I suspect that your mother may be drained from looking after your brother and she (and perhaps also your parents’ marriage) is at breaking point. They might need help and support. Can you persuade her or both of them to see their GP about a referral for counselling or to contact Relate (relate.org.uk)? She could also contact Carers UK (carersuk.org) for help and advice. Meanwhile, you need to live your own life and make plans to move out. Do you have friends you could share a flat with? If not, try spareroom.co.uk or uk.easyroommate.com.