HOW CAN I GET MY WIFE BACK?

Two years ago I split up from my wife of 34 years. She said she couldn’t stay married to me because I was unfaithful and lied to cover it up for many months after I was found out. We are now divorced but I can’t get her out of my head. I miss her so much, along with my daughter and grandson, who I am not allowed to see. I am tired of people telling me to move on. I am not interested in anyone else. I know it is not doing me any good but I just want to make things better with my loved ones, right the wrong in any way I can and prove that it was not the real me. I send them all money and gifts as pathetic gestures, which they do accept. This is so sad as it is clear that you deeply regret the affair. However, it may be that your ex-wife won’t ever forgive you and you might have to reconcile yourself to this. Perhaps because you hurt her so much she is punishing you by encouraging your daughter not to see you, which is very hard for you. Or perhaps your daughter won’t see you or allow you to see your grandson because she is still angry with you for betraying her mother and she might feel it would be disloyal. It is more difficult to move on because you are probably clinging to the hope that if you got back together, then you could be a family again. If your ex-wife still loves you, she might also fear that if you mended the relationship, once you felt safely married again, you might have more affairs. You could ask her and perhaps your daughter if you could meet and, if they agree, tell them how very sorry you are and that you are desperate to rebuild your relationship with them. Fathers and grandfathers are so important for children and grandchildren. Ask your ex-wife if she will have joint counselling with you with Relate (relate.org.uk) to try to let go of the hurt and anger. If she won’t, go on your own to help you come to terms with your divorce.