My daughter refuses to forgive me

My 29-year-old daughter has not spoken to me for nearly a year. She had a lovely childhood with a lovely house in this country and a villa in France where we spent family holidays. Her father was always very indulgent to her and her two younger siblings so she was rather spoilt. When she was 15, I discovered my husband was seeing another woman and I told him the marriage was over. He ended the affair immediately and begged for my forgiveness, but I insisted on a divorce. My daughter was furious with me and it has not been an easy relationship since then. When she asked me to have her six-year-old daughter for the weekend as she and her husband wanted to go away, I said that I could have her for one night but not two as I work full time. She swore at me and put the phone down. Why is she still so difficult? This is not easy for you but it sounds as though she is still angry about the divorce. This is never easy for teenagers and children and, because she was probably close to her father, despite his unfaithfulness she wanted you to forgive him and stay together. Maybe after the break-up she did not see as much of him as she wanted, or he found someone else rather quickly and she felt left out, or there were some dramatic lifestyle changes. Because you have a difficult relationship, she perhaps saw the fact that you could not have your granddaughter for the whole weekend as a lack of love on your part. You need to talk to her about all of this and how she felt at the time of the divorce, then explain how much you love her and want to be there for her.